Wednesday, February 09, 2022

Cozzi Breaks the Cake: THE BLACK CAT (1989) aka Demons 6: De Profundis



Night 55 of Acidemic's 12 Days of Ed Wood

Cozzi's/Coates' CAT hath cometh to Blu-ray last year, and you gotta see it! It's not your grandparent's Black Cat (with Karloff) it's not your drunk uncle's 941 Black Cat (with Broderick Crawford), it's not even your weird cousin's 1983 Black Cat (with Patrick Magee's hairy eyebrows menacing Mimsy Farmer). No, this is the 1989 Black Cat, aka Demons 6: Des Profundis (with everything exploding all the time), directed by Lewis Coates, aka Luigi Cozzi, aka "The Italian Ed Wood," and it's all ours. 5-eva.

Now, some people, maybe even Cozzi himself, think being called "the Italian Ed Wood" is not a compliment. They're 160 proof wrong! Like Wood's, Cozzi's best films brim with pagan innocence of narrative structure that results in giddy freedom from expectation. Both display a palpable rapture for classic horror and science fiction that's blissfully at odds with the usual Robert McKee three act structurezz and character arc-ingzzz. Everything is alive from minute to minute with the sort of giddy rapture we once got hearing our parents read us our favorite books before bedtime. That's why Plan Nine is a beloved cult treasure watched over and over, while The Day the Earth Stood Still is just a respected as a well-crafted liberal message movie even die hard sci-fi fans like me have only seen two or three times, and solely for Gort. I don't turn to my DVD collection for a feel bad-lecture about nuclear responsibility from dull paternal Michael Rennie. I turn to my DVD collection to hear Dudley Manlove rant about "Solarmanite" and our "stupid minds! Stupid!" I'd rather a movie try and fail at 'passing' as a mainstream /normal film but succeed at being niche/surreal rather than the other way around. Nothing drains the joy out of a project like groupthink and big budget competence. Wood's and Cozzi's films don't have to worry, the joy is there. 

Cozzi's career may have been winding down a bit by 1989, as indeed was the drive-in era of Italian cinema as a whole, but before the 90s could begin in earnest, Cozzi gave us two parting gifts. One was Paganini Horror, it's a-verra-nice, but the other, The Black Cat is a bona fide back row meta-classic. 

Initially conceived of a "Three Mothers" entry by its writer and intended star Daria Nicolodi (Dario Argento's ex-wife, she co-wrote/created Suspiria and Inferno, see Woman is the Father of Horror), Cozzi  worried about displeasing almighty Dario by "choosing sides" so he refracted the story to a kind of  alternate reality meta-sequel, somewhere between Targets and the Freddy's New Nightmare rather than a straight up Mother movie. This pissed off Daria, so she split the project. Yet on it went, finally erupting like a last gasp of primo 80s Italian supernatural horror/sci-fi into god knows where. 

The point is, get over the total weird disjointed aspects, the all over the place narrative, and the terrible dubbing and man does it rock, howl and rattle.


The story involves Italian horror power couple, director Marc (Urbano Barberini) and star Anne (Florence Guérin) and their young baby--no doubt loosely based on Argento and Nicolodi--planning a movie about a witch named Levana, not officially a "Mother" but intricately connected. Marc and Anne are tight friends with screenwriter Dan (Maurizio Fardo) and his actress wife Nora (Caroline Munro). There's also Michele Soavi as the director of the movie the women are currently working on (something to do with guns and 80s sunglasses). The go pitch the story Brett (Return of the Fly) Halsey as a Satanic, wheelchair-bound producer named Leonard. He vows he'll "create such excitement over this project that the major distributors will be cutting each other's throats to get a piece!" He sends the boys off to a psychic (Karina Hoff) who busts out her big apparently hand-written volume of Suspiria de Profundis ("not a work of fiction!" she exclaims as the Goblin Suspiria music cue briefly plays in the background). The psychic encourages Marc to change the character's name to something else. For there really was a witch named Levana and she is waiting to be reborn. Just saying her name can wake her up. Marc and David don't believe her of course, maybe Levana has already manifested in their psyches.

As in Michele Soavi's Stagefright, we're in a world where the meta and the intertextual are woven in the fabric of the narrative in a way far more deadpan and subliminal than perhaps might be discernible on first (non-DMX-enhanced) viewings. I remember catching Black Cat out of curiosity ten years or so ago--long before I discovered and fell in love with Cozzi's oeuvre-- when Netflix still had lots of weird old movies on their streaming service. It seemed kind of disjointed and needlessly gross with all the bursting green food coloring postules (ala Dèmoni) on the witch's face in lurid close-up, the intestines erupting from the TV, the terrible dubbing and fractured artsy style, but there was no getting around how unique it was. Over the years that uniqueness and abiguity has come to mean an awful lot.  

Yeah, the pustules. Validating the psychic's warning, we occasionally fade into a gross fleshy strand-covered fetus rising from its amber liquid interstellar/ transdimensional grave, maybe on the moon, (no doubt meant as a kind of reverse-evil star child from 2001: A Space Odyssey). Meanwhile, an adult Levana, with them damned pustules, begins to take over the mind of Anne, urging her to kill her own child!  Just how far will Anne go to get into character?

What makes the movie such a blast is that Levana starts bending reality and the minds of all who think of her almost from the get go, including Nora, Dan, and Marc. The only question: is this the movie's reality - in all its weirdness, the movie in the movie, or Ann's dreams? We oscillate so seamlessly back and forth between them there's no point guessing which is which 

As in most of his work, Cozzi's love of strong, cool women characters shines through in a way unique to Italian cinema (the only similar figure in the US is probably Roger Corman). There's usually at least one female villain in his films, as well as a strong heroine, and a string of strong cool female characters in between. Yet in the Levana script Marc and Dan are writing, there's only one woman character and she's a pustule-covered witch! (Dan's affirmation that she's "very strong" seems like a back-handed condescension) This sets up a rivalry between Nora and Anne for the part, though one wonders why on earth would either woman would want so desperately to play a part where they're covered in pustules, and why can't Marc and his writer create two female spots for their own actress wives? But, as per Cozzi, of all the women in the film, none are objectified; they're resourceful and strong, never victims. In other words, it's a strange and cryptic anti-patriarchal judgment made as far from the mire of misogyny as any 1980s Italian horror movie or indeed the world could reach.  This is such a female-centric movie that when some guy who's arc was no doubt lost on the cutting room floor shows up, his presence seems very odd, shows up and gets in Caroline Munroe's car to go visit Lavana. He's dead before he even gets off a single line! 

Other female cast members include Luisa Manieri is the babysitter, who asks to bring her cousin along on one of her babysitting jobs. In one of the creepiest scenes, Anne comes home to find a young boy playing with her baby, only to learn the babysitter's cousin didn't come along. WHO IS THAT BOY? She runs up and he's gone! She goes into the other room where the fridge, that was supposed to have been fixed, is now overheating. The receipt from the repairman is GONE! She flashes back to a messy fridge. Is she losing her damned mind or is someone gaslighting her? The TV turns on by itself. A child is onscreen, calling her by name. Warning her about Levana:  "If she takes the body of a young woman born under the sign of the sixth moon there will be no way on earth to stop her!" It explodes and showers the floor with intestines, and a glowing knife appears! That's all in like five minutes.

The normal progression for these kinds of "is this bitch crazy?" type of things usually involves dream sequences, red herrings, phony staged ghosts or hanging dummies outside the window, and 'gaslit moms walking around their big houses alone, hearing noises and watching strange new gardeners through the curtains' - the sort of hackneyed stuff that would eat up a whole hour of a TV movie by Dan Curtis or Curtis Harrington.  Cozzi has no patience for slow builds. He crashes a car through the wall like a ten year-old, utterly derailing the movie already in our heads, freeing us from the familiar linear shackles. So before Anne can be taken to a shrink and told it's all in her head as Marc gives her part away "for her own good," like we expect, we're plunging heedlessly into lunatic dreamtime, ever father and deeper. Weird colored lighting, an inner child filling Anne in on plot points; Anne dressing up like Levana and trying to stab her own baby; Anne actually stabbing Marc (or did she?) and fending off curvy dagger attacks by Levin's sultry personal assistant. Where is her baby!? ' The baby is gone! And as this is an Italian horror movie, there's no guarantee of the child's safety.

Here nightmare/dreams are so indistinguishable from reality it doesn't feel like a cheat as some nightmare scenes do; there's no waking up in the dead of night screaming, no being told it was just a dream. Cozzi knows that in a movie everything is already a dream, he owes us nothing as far as 'bringing it back to reality' - he laughs at that hack pedestrian need for a normal reality through line, the type with investigating cops and patriarchal shrinks. Thus, as Marc lies dead at her feet, she hears herself in the distance telling Marc about the dream she had where she kills him. But then car comes crashing through the living room and the bloody Dan emerges. Bang Boom

And for the fans, there are callbacks to all Cozzi's best: a bladder burst stomach effect evokes Contamination; Munro's presence evokes Starcrash; we see leftover moon shots he stole from Hercules; an inner child appearing in the TV is dubbed by the same child actress who plays the spirit guides in Hercules 2, and so on.

As for the music, well, even if it's not Goblin or Ennio Morricone, Vince Tempera's 'shoot for bodacious, settle for bemusing' score is certainly better than Keith Emerson's clueless melange in Argento's own Suspiria follow-up, Inferno. By 1989 Argento was himself falling into disrepair as far as his shitty music choices, leaning towards half-baked metal and away from Goblin-style clanging). Tempera keeps it all humming without trying to turn anything into a music video, and that's good enough for me. 

If Cozzi's films have an Achilles' heel, it's always the English dubbing. Sometimes, if the budget allows, as with his his Hercules movies or Contamination, it's pretty good. But here and in the same year's Paganini Horror (1989) it's-a not so good-a. Worse, the one place where Nicolodi's absence is really felt is in Levana's voice. Setting the benchmark for super creepy voices with her guttural croak as Helena Markos ("you are going to die now!") in Suspiria (if you doubt it's Daria doing that laugh, just dig her throaty, evil laugh in Property is No Longer a Theft), Nicolodi would surely have nailed Levana. Instead, the actress used for Lavana's voice sounds pitch-shifted and forced. Lines like "I won't rest until I force your heart beyond the brink of madness! Hahahah" - evoke a hammy drag queen auditioning for a gig as a Disney haunted house emcee. 

In the end though, Cozzi doesn't give us any time to complain about diegetic consistency: things zip along so fast and incredible we can only hold on, never daring to stop long enough to go "hey....wait a minute!" Always Jack Kirby-cosmic, Cozzi uses the meta tale of an Argento-like household being  taken over by a witch only as a spring board-- broadening the aperture to include time travel, outer space, cosmic balance, witch battles, and fairy tale Jungian bedazzlement, in other words, that Cozzi Lite-Brite stardust. When a film's this great, no one should mind if it's kind of terrible. Isn't that what makes being the Italian Ed Wood the greatest "thing" in the world? 


Thursday, February 03, 2022

Hair of the Dogmatizer: THE BRAINIAC (1962)

Night 13 of The 12 Days of Ed Wood:

I tried to watch the first episode HBO post-apocalyptic pandemic drama Station 11 last night and ended up locked in the bathroom in full anxiety attack mode, breathing erratically, trying not die from worrying about dying, the whole bit, all because of sound mixing. There needs to be new warning in addition to strobe lights for epileptics, sexual assault, drug use for parents, etc: 'vividly reproduced panic attack hearing distortion" for anxiety-sufferers. You know what I mean: a character has a panic attack and the sound mixing and acting, camera movement and music all work in a unison way too realistic not to entrain a reflexive panic attack from susceptible viewers (the voices suddenly grow faint, yet urgent, the sound of blood in your ears rushing). I suddenly remembered the feeling of early in March 2020, when I was loading up on peanut butter, dried rice and beans in anticipation of civilization's COVID collapse, suffering anxiety attacks every day, unable to breathe for fear of being unable to breathe. I'd forgotten that anxiety, until the first episode of Station 11 reproduced it so well it made me feel like I was a post-Jimmy Stewart looking down from Midge's step ladder and realizing I was--in some way--still clinging by my fingers to that high-up rooftop in Vertigo. 

We never saw Jimmy rescued from that rooftop in the beginning did we? At the end, he's still up there. He's probably up there still. 

That's where the glory of bad movies come in. For those of us so easily suggestible, those of who lose our shit just thinking about losing our shit, those of us easily triggered by the anxieties of our post-real age, watching our private nightmares played back for us in a tumble of cheap mummery provides a warm comforting gush of relief. We can breathe freely in the presence of recognized chicanery--exposing the absurdity of our fears in ways that actually lessen them. We can latch onto doddering Frank Morgan's lapel and hide behind his curtain as the big green Oz bellows and puffs. We're safe, with the winners. Isn't this the function of ceremonial demon masks and re-enactments of ancient god dramas, performed around the flickering flames  in primitive societies? The outsider 'so bad it's good' horror movie achieves this same therapeutic function. 

Lucky for me, and maybe you, the bizarro spirit of 'bad' moviedom lives beyond Wood, in rocky crevasses the world over, the equivalent of a "I do believe in spooks / I do believe in spooks" holy mantra coming like a last minute helicopter ladder out of the collapsing pyre. I'm finding new protective totems ever year. Some of which I'm sharing for the first time in this Ed Wood series. One I always knew about but never really fully embraced for its full anxiety-abating lunacy until lately: The Brainiac (the Mexican title: El Baron del Terror). It's this movie I turned to once the first Station 11 episode finally ended. And lo, it healed me. It dispelled the anxiety with a flicker of a long, brain-sucking straw/tongue

Intrigued? finish your pulque and come along with me down the rabbit hole of time and space to....

THE BRAINIAC
(1962) Dir. Chano Ureta 
*/****

Actor Abel Salazar produced a web of 'great' weird and wondrous early-60s horror (and other) films in Mexico, but THE BRAINIAC (1962) is the only one that can be rightly placed next to the works of Bunuel and Jodorowsky in the zebra, shoehorn and xylophone-stuffed canals of Mexican cinematic surreality. Salazar himself--a kind of Mexican version of Sheldon Leonard--takes the title role and makes all the pretty girls kiss him (as Eric Schaffer or Paul Naschy would later do) as the irresistible Baron Vitelius d'Estera. Tried by a hooded tribunal for "dogmatizing" and seduction, he has nothing but a baleful stare and a lone friend's plea (rewarded with 50 lashes) for rebuttal. Tied to a big X, made pants-less in a pope hat, he glares as the inquisitors read their verdicts (and the ladies roll their eyes). After cursing his condemners out by name (seeing right through their black hoods), and making his chains disappear, our saucy Baron hitches a ride on a passing comet, leaving the pyre behind. 

Three hundred years later, the comet returns and the baron drops out of the sky with a thud, right near an observatory where the chief astronomer will late exclaim: "comets can't just disappear!" 

The plot itself is sparse and expects us to fill in a lot of blanks, presuming we've seen other films like it, so can piggyback on their set-ups. For example, there is no need to explain why the baron has returned from his 300 year round trip through the cosmos as a suction cup clawed, long-tongued, patchy-haired pointy nosed, brain-sucking alien shapeshifter, because similar things happened to los astronautos in a bunch of late-50s sci-fi B-films: First Man into Space (1959), Night of the Blood Beast (1958), and The Creeping Unknown (1955) all feature astronauts returning from orbit with some alien life merged into theirs, altering their appearance and appetites. So why bother explaining that something similar happened to our terrifying Baron Vitelius?  By 1961, coming back from space merged with a vampiric space 'other' was as familiar as the "bends" or oxygen narcosis. The difference here is that he now eats brains instead of drinking blood. Otherwise writers Frederico Curiel and Adolfo López Portill just siphon out the plot points from those other films, as if making ghostly intertextual subliminal links, 

On the Gothic horror side, Brainiac's plot leans on Bava's Black Sunday (for its witch burning prologue and descendant cursing) and of course, for a fusion of the two, there is Edgar Ulmer's Man from Planet X (for the weird noir-ish observatory / fog machine-and-rear projection soundstage noir isolation and omnipresent darkness.) Lastly, for the 'back from the great beyond to wreak vengeance on those who sentenced me to death, one-by-one' plots we have everything from that spate of late-30s/early-40s Karloff vehicles, like The Man They Could Not Hang, Before I Hang, Black Friday, and The Walking Dead and even Son of Frankenstein. Somewhere or other the detectives learn that the baron can jump to a different body if not destroyed by fire, so when they finally close in, both detectives have comically large flame-throwers. Once again, we know all the missing plot beats that got us there via other films. By skipping them, the filmmakers here avoid all cliche and familiarity, as if all those other films happened in this diegetic reality, just like the Italians! 

Then there's the monster: his weird two fingered suction cup claw hands, his long forked tongue, his scattered tufts of hair, the weird hatchet-like planes of his face, the crudeness of his sculpted features, giant plastered-on fangs and pointy nose and ears. Clearly just a big latex (?) mask replete with open mouth and bulging eyes, somewhere between the Fly, the Devil Bat, and an anteater. His habits are a great blend of sophistication and outrageousness. When not eating them on the scene, the baron keeps his uneaten brains in a jar inside a locked desk in his expansive mansion, and takes periodic hits from it as needed.  Though he does most of his pre-killing groundwork via hypnotic staring (a flashlight shining on and off in his face to indicate his occult/alien power), the baron always takes time to force the male descendant to watch--standing bug eyed and paralyzed--as he makes out with his wife or daughter before becoming the monster and sucking the brains of them both, then burning the place down. As they tried to have him burned... 300 years ago!


Blissfully expunging of all the more tiresome plot points and establishing shots of lesser films, The Brainiac is too fleet of foot to ever get dull even if his killing/kissing strategy is repeated with little variation from one descendant to the next. There are no exteriors or daytime stock footage 'next morning' inserts to dull the eerie dislocated nocturnal vibe - everything is on soundstage with rear projected stills for backdrops giving everything a sense of isolated nocturnal paralysis. There are no plucky girl reporters or comical bumpkins (the latter one of Mexican horror cinema's least crossover-able elements); no children, no animals in cages. Very few cast members at all - just a pair of detectives, the coroner, the baron, his butler, his parade of victims and their lovely wives or daughters, and the hero couple (the hero Ronny being a descendent of the baron's one friend who stood up for him). 

It's the little details and hilarious English dubbing too that make it work. Cause and effect barely know each other in this alternated world of a stressed-out astronomer (he's so flummoxed by the comet's disappearance, he acts like a harried police chief) calves brain-eating, flame thrower-waving homicide detectives (with technical cop jargon at the scene of a double murder: "keep the parts separate, otherwise I might get mixed up!"), a coroner ("Just look at these two orifices!") and a weird direct lineage family tree situation; every one of his would-be executioners has exactly one descendent who looks just like them (except for one girl, leading to a one of the many wow but sublimely deadpan moments). All the members of his tribunal are even conveniently buried together in one old mausoleum. The old records of his trial are just lying around on people's desks like an old phone book. The baron knows the charges by heart: accused of "dogmatizing, using conjuring for evil ends that all men are attracted to, and seducing young maidens that couldn't... couldn't resist!" 

Lastly, cementing its classic status is a kind of strange lonesome soundstage nocturne vibe, both chilling and comforting. There's the baron's first night in town, drifting into a closing, empty bar, with one guy sweeping up, another counting the till, the lonely girl at the bar drinking her isolation away who welcomes him without question. Towards the end, the baron has killed most of the cast, so when he tells the inquisitive cops to send his sympathy to their loved ones, the detective says, "it's impossible. There's no one left to feel sorry for now." The sets seem to breathe in deeply in relief or fear, as the backgrounds of scenes empty from the one or two extras that were loitering in the corners just scenes before. When the baron first meets Ronny and his fiancee outside the observatory he instantly bonds with them over astronomy. Later when the pair come to visit (it turns out his fiancee is his last intended victim), they remember their meeting, and the baron says "we became friend then, did we not?" The baron seems to want to be friends, and so do the victims. It's as if everyone was just waiting for something like the baron's grand Gothic reception hall (clearly left over from some bigger budgeted-production) to come colliding like some chimera from Universal horror's past into a modern day poverty row police procedural noir. All the characters immediately accept random invitations to the baron's mansion, as if just waiting for the cool new kid to kickstart their social lives. Yet they have no clear idea what to do there: all are introduced by the butler, grab a drink and mill around, then turn around and say good-night minutes later. At the wedding of one of the couples the baron is the only one in attendance (he shows up late, is why, and meets them at the church foyer.

In short, this Mexico, all wrapped up in its emptied interior loneliness, is is a very strange reality: there are only ever the characters we see. Nothing exists beyond the camera's proscenium arch, giving it all a beguiling interiority and feverish dream logic. Somewhere in there, the baron even falls in love with Ronny's fiancee, though there's no indication of when, why, or how. He must kill her though, since she's a descendant, the last one: "My hate is much stronger than my love, like a master no one can control!" He goes on and on: "Why did destiny elect you! ? Why? I want to know!" She faces away from him in classic soap opera Latin over-emotion as he says all these things; like she doesn't want her husband to know about how much reciprocal desire feels, like it's all just the usual Besos y Lagrimas-style suds. Suddenly the baron can also become invisible and run right through people; and then as soon as the baron is vaporized by flame, the film ends - without even a shot of the reunited lovers heading off into the sunrise. For what these characters don't seem to know is, without the baron's presence, none of them are destined to survive 'the End.' 

And just like that, it's over. We kind of have to wake up. The rest of Station 11 and all those terrifying vertigo end of the world global warming too fast Covid leaky ceiling work woes are all still waiting to pounce and send us hyperventilating to the bathroom to splash cold water on the back of our necks But don't worry. There are miracles of our modern age as well as horrors. We may all be isolated in our cribs, the world coming us to digitized without even the warmth of a funeral pyre as comfort, but movies like The Brainiac aren't going anywhere. They're everywhere, in fact, even on our phones, like some kind of weird twilight rosary, or a passing comet, its tail ready to whisk us out of the pyre, or into one. 

Friday, December 31, 2021

Way of the Coffin Flop: GAME OF DEATH II (1981)

 
Night #6 of the 12 Days of Ed Wood

Some deaths never last.

Acolytes of the Great Bruce Lee generally sneer at the legions of posthumous 'final' films. Some, like the first Game of Death which was at at least half finished, seem like real movies, but play just a tad empty. After that, well, it's like all the posthumous Hendrix albums out there, all built out of a single tape of after-hours jam sessions. It's a matter of how much you want to believe. Trouble is, its much easier to 'finish' a Hendrix song as one can easily add and and subtract tracks to any guitar jam or riff to make it seem 'finished,' but it's harder to make a movie out of Enter the Dragon outtakes and funeral footage. Very rarely does a film like that transcend its ghoulish aspirations to become something as wondrously bottom drawer as the original home movie / stand-in / off camera -posthumous trash masterpiece, Plan Nine from Outer Space. 

Well, sneer away, Lee acolytes, but GAME OF DEATH II (1981) --one of the first few posthumous mashups from Golden Harvest--the sequel to what was a posthumous rush job to begin with--is right in that drawer with the Plan, kicking its way out. Truly, a magnificent melange for the dissociative cine-nambulist, with some great fights and stunts for those who like that sort of thing, so prett queetending and wag on the jump train! It's called (loss of) control! 

Strangely joyous and soothing in a post-modern sort of way, Death 2 is such a uniquely cool hodgepodge homage it demands to be taken on its own terms, and as soon as it figures out what those terms are, you'll be the first to know... and indeed you will know everything, and beyond, until a Godardesque demonstration of the impossibility of a unified cinematic subject and your spectator POV are merged to the point of inextricability. As the great A. Schwarzenegger said in Total Recall. "You are not you --you're me!" 


Released a mere seven year after Lee's death, Golden Harvest gamely lets us know his ghost is still very much present in the machine, cohering and unifying a relentlessly shifting composite of doubles, dubbers, stunt-men, unused footage from other movies, dummies, backs of heads, and lookalike replacement 'little brothers.'  Half post-modern seance, half flashback 'clips' episode, half verité memorial, half inventive Enter the Dragon / James Bond-emulating spy flick science fiction kung fu movie, sure that doesn't add up but calculus has no place in Game of Death II. It's not even really a sequel. 

All you need to know is this: it... is... the best...at what it does... and what it does... no one man can say. 

The only thing I don't love about is the title:: I wish it was called Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave. Alas, there already is an actual film Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave. It has no footage of Bruce Lee whatsoever. Can you imagine how cool it would be to have the below left poster and title belong to Game of Death 2, or to have a poster with Bruce leaping from a coffin hoisted 600 feet in the air lifted by helicopter?

What a missed opportunity, it's such an indelible moment in the film--one of those WTF moments bad film lovers stuff under their mattresses like tittering misers-- and yet the poster art for Game of Death II is woefully short of trumpeting its grandeur.  In order to make the poster match the film of Bruce Lee Fights Back from His Grave, the producers shot a quick scene of a man jumping out of a grave, then stapled it in front. of some random Korean karate/spy bore bearing no affiliation at all. The spirit of Jerry Warren transcends natoins!

I mention all this because death and graves and coffin imagery are a huge part of Game of Death II.

The key image --the real money shot--is when "Bruce Lee" (playing a version of himself named Billy Lo), hangs onto a friend's coffin after it's lifted high into the sky by a mysterious claw-wielding helicopter during a big funeral, then loses his grip and plummets to his death.  Bruce tries to hold onto Death for dear life. But Death will not have him. 
The image of Bruce Lee holding on to a coffin by his fingers as it soars skyward is so cool and symbolic/poetic to the way the real Lee's death was mythologized (i.e. he faked it to avoid  to escape the Triads) that it should have been celebrated in a big poster ala Kong straddling the Twin Towers in the Di Laurentiis remake). Regardless, it comes around the halfway point, the perfect excuse to stop with the back of head shots, and low lighting battles and promote the Next Big Lee/Lo. 

After the first funeral NOW we get Lo/Lee's subsequent funeral, and it's mostly real life  Lee funeral footage interspersed with footage from Lee's earlier, non-kung fu, acting roles: as a child actor and young romantic lead. At this point we're so confused over the funerals, doubles, real life Lee substituting for fake Lee for the funeral, and vice vera, the melange of dummies, stand-ins, dubbers, projections, outtakes and doubles, we don't even know who the real Lee was or is or was supposed to be. Was he just a composite all this time?. What even is death? Can we live forever if we hire someone to dress like us and walk around our old neighborhood? Does the weird seductress in the poster at left really have a bat tied up in her hair, like if Medusa's snakes got tangled with a bat homunculus? Were the triads trying to extort Lee into signing a long contract and he felt there was no way out other than faking death? Or Did the triads whack him for not signing with them, and they successfully made it look like natural--if suspiciously unusual--causes? 

Nothing is answered in Game of Death II and that's how we want it. It's a film that starts off at an off-footing, and we never catch our balance. In his last fully alive film, Enter the Dragon, we heard Lee's real voice when he spoke--a careful, measured, sinuous purr. When Bruce speaks in Death II, his real voice is replaced by a strident, square-jawed, no nonsense hero-style voice actor, one making no attempt to sound like Lee or even remotely Asian. He sounds like he wandered over from a Dragnet audition. The effect is immediately disorienting, plunging us into an uncanny sense of disconnect. The Lee we're expecting has gone fluttering into a thousand different directions, like Dracula turning into an army of bats when cornered. 

But if we don't fight it, if we let the uncanny affect create a post-structural frisson, the payoff- is a post-modern kick to the back of the head (we'll see a lot of the back of Lee's head, i.e. a double with a very wide head that looks nothing like Bruce's). Everything evokes something else, making it all like the Golden Harvest version of a shaman embodying Lee in a mimetic trance while dancing around a tribal fire in a ceremonial mask. You can refuse to participate, to comment the mask looks fake, but if you accept it as a post-modern deconstructions, it's uplifting, it frees you from the trance of narrative hypnosis rather than the reverse. Yet you find yourself getting swept up anyway. 

To use Hendrix album comparison, if the first Game of Death was Cry of LoveGame of Death II seems more a projected hologram of Hendrix in concert backed by a boozy cover band in some Vegas dinner theater. Since it has much less Bruce footage to work with than the first Game, Part II is forced to think way outside the box. It does that. It gets so far outside by the time it stops we can't even see the box, As such, I love it like a mother loves the bottom rung of her secret drug stash, or the writers at Bleeding Skull! love Doris Wishman's A Night to Dismember. In other words, I love it wholeheartedly, like a play staged by my own five year-old child. 


"SOMETHING YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!" 

The story begins with Lee walking the garden of his kung fu school's massive temple (in this case the real Lee via Enter the Dragon outtakes) talking to someone offscreen, not the orange-robed older monk he was talking to in Dragon, but a fellow badass named Chin Lu (Hwang Jang-lee, whose long black facial hair and ponytail decorated many a Golden Harvest kung fu villain). Chin--in a flowing gold robe--pauses their talk to use his 'peerless sword technique' on an Anglo challenger (apparently when you're a master, would-be students show up at your house to challenge you on a regular basus) while Lee watches and drinks tea. Afterwards, they compare notes and realize they both have been receiving an unusual amount of challenges lately ("Someone may want us dead"). Lee tells of a recent challenger he had: so we flashback to a midnight (i.e. so it can be too dark to see faces clearly) greenhouse rendezvous he had with a young upstart some weeks earlier. 

Here's where we get our first composite restructured Lee: most of the time it's a fight double (lots of back of the head shots and the greenhouse is dark, as I've said) plus what looks like an image of Lee from Game of Death I projected onto one of the plastic sheeted walls. The double keeps his mouth hanging open throughout so that dialogue can be attributed to him at any time. "That's what we call control!" he shouts in the anglo voice at his whiny challenger after delivering a pointed beatdown, "something you wouldn't understand!"

We can't imagine the real Lee ever getting so smarmy after beating an opponent in a fair challenge, but it's not Lee's voice, and it's not him fighting, and its someone else's back of the head, so there you go. The fight still has lots of stillness and lightning quick moves and there's a great bit of Dolby foley work with a breaking clay pot mixed in there --on my 2004 Dragon Dynasty disc it sounded like it was coming from my kitchen! 

We've barely begun and already doubling, flashbacks and mistakes commingle with the alleged forward momentum of the narrative, if trying to confuse even the most astute of viewers as to whether the guy they're watching is supposed to be the actual Bruce Lee in flashback, or his character Billy Lo (who alternates between old Lee clips and his back-of-the-head double), or his college student pornography-owning, flaking-out-on-his-training brother Bobby. Whatever the truth, I don't care. The laconic nature of the first half, its laid-back clip show flashback reminiscences, imbues the film with a mellow glow that carries through to the rest of the remaining hour as young Bobby Lo ("Don't worry father, I won't let it bother me"), Billy's (aka Bruce's) kid brother, decides to go full-on super spy to investigate Billy's death. Soon he's engaging in a fun, perhaps unintentionally goofy, spin on Enter the Dragon's midnight black suit secret agent basement drug production lair skulking, i.e. the best part of that film. 

But first! Billy learns his friend Chin Lu (the guy with the peerless sword technique) has been killed! He decides he must be the one to go to tell Lu's sister, a performer in Japan, the bad news. Rather than just call he goes to find her, allowing for a b-roll plunge into the nighttime world of 'the Ginza.' We hear a very Japanese rock/pop singer song of the moment (sounds like, but I'm sure it's not, Meiko Kaji) as Lee/Lo threads his way through the stock footage streets to find the nightclub where she sings as underdressed waitresses lope around in bunny ears and customers watch glumly from their tables, as if it's the 100th take of the night. Even with all that torpor, a fight erupts in her dressing room between Lee/Lo and a horde of assassins. Someone helpfully kicks out the lightbulb so a double can be used for most of the shots. Then our hero goes running through the streets which resemble a kind of sad indoor mall. Where are we anyway? Is this a real place in the Ginza, or a big soundstage recreation? Are supposed to be outside in the night, just a bad set, or is it some kind of actual indoor vendor hall? Never will we know!

Next up, Lee/Lo goes to visit Bobby (Tae-jeong Kim) at college; but Bobby is wasting his time with pornography and non-martial arts studies. We see hands reading an erotic Chinese book then throwing it in the trash. They are Lo/Lee's!? Is he is at his kid brother Bobby's apartment or house or garage? Never will we know! He throws all his brother's dirty magazines into the trash basket, and then starts penning a letter 

"Dear Bobby - how are you? I was hoping to see you but you were out; sorry I missed you. I guess I don't have to tell you that to become an expert in kung fu requires more effort." 

Lo/Lee leaves him the family secret boxing manual, as if knowing he's about to die and it mustn't fall into enemy's hands. At any rate, he's off to a funeral! A very Ennio Morricone-ish surge of blazing brass and vocalizing heralds a visit to a fancy pagoda for Lu's wake, where marital arts trainees in black, like an army of Japanese Lee replacements waiting to go, stand motionless along all the sides of the walkway. That seems to be a thing. Lots of pagodas. Lots of standing still along pagoda steps by guys in matching karate clothes. 

The funeral is Shinto Buddhist. Astute viewers realize instantly Lu's not really dead when four muscly guys in white won't let Lo get close enough to view the body. Lo runs into a Japanese guy and we see the swastika (in the right direction) on the casket. Hey, Buddhism is so much more cosmic than Christianity. The art shows a much clearer understanding of universal energy flows, the circular breathing of the monks echoes eternity. 

And when a helicopter comes to steal the casket the circuit is complete. 

Lee/Lo is so adamant at getting a look at the body, he hitches a ride grabbing onto the claws the chopper uses to steal the casket, only to drop down and fall to his death from hundreds of feet in the air. Now, it's Billy Lo aka Lee who is dead! But also-- the real Bruce Lee is dead!! Now we get Lee's real funeral with dissolve overlays of his whole career, from child actor onwards, a whole photo album of Lee's life, overlaid with footage of his funeral ceremony. 

Well if you got to go, the best way is to do it while falling off of a coffin claw from three hundred feet.  "After you've read this letter, go to Japan," reads dad's letter to young Bobby, "and avenge your brother, Billy." 

Bobby visits a wealthy white guy named Sherman (he looks a little like Daniel Day Lewis - coincidence?) who eats raw meat and drinks a pink milk cocktail for breakfast. ("This is raw venison, and deer's blood!") Lewis gives Bobby a tour of the grounds, pausing briefly fight to the death three idiot martial artists who arrive at the gate to challenge him. It's funny that Lewis, the only white guy in the whole film, is the worst dubbed, with a voice all halting and unevenly accenting the wrong words, as he shows off his grounds ("I keep a lot of specially trained.... peacocks... over there. They obey my command. It takes a lot of training.") '

Then, in case it was all getting too familiar, Lewis (who Bobby calls Sherman for some reason, perhaps reading a different script) makes a signal and a whole flock of peacocks fly out of their aerie, across the vast lawn and right towards the camera! The sight of them all squawking and coming straight for us all at once out of the opposite end of the frame is scary and most of all, totally unique.  We also see lions just hanging out in the garden. ("They are really big lions!" observes Bobby, "I'm kind of frightened.") At one point they surround the jeep and we learn "their favorite dish is fresh human meat").   

Bobby sleeps over at Lewis's estate and is visited first by an under-clothed Anglo lady named Angel (Miranda Austin) who tries to first mate with, and then kill, him.  A guy in a reasonably convincing lion suit, acting like a lion (he may or may not be supposed to be an actual lion -we never quite know) comes flying through the window a little later in the night. Hey, we've seen less convincing lion suits that were supposed to be actual lions (i.e. Latitude Zero). 

But it turns out it's not Lewis sending these hit women and animals. Turns out there's also someone trying to kill Lewis and Bobby: someone wearing a crazy red mask--he's out there skulking in all black around the day-for-night grounds as well. Lewis still may be the guilty one who ordered Billy's death, but Bobby still fights the guy trying to kill him. By now everyone seems 'masked' and doubled so it's just pure joy. 


Clues finally lead to the "Tower of Death" but the secret is - the tower is in reverse!! That's not what a tower is called, man! It's called a pit. But there you go. An elevator takes Bobby down down to a very cool combination of James Bond super villain lair, a 1960s TV Batman cliffhanger death trap and Han's underground opium processing plant in Enter the Dragon. Rivers of red blood (or some kind of red liquid) flank a grey/silver industrial sci-fi room with ridged booby trap-laden hallways. Instead of Dragon's hall of mirrors we get the spinning throw room. An electrified grid of colored lasers 

Luckily before Bobby can be fried, the bad guy leaps from out of his coffin onto a pedestal where the off switch can be easily accessed. A bit of the theme song from Enter is shoved into the faux-Morricone grandeur, and the film ends on a freeze frame. Blammo! No coffin can hold Lu, I mean Lo!  I man LEE!

Deadpan before Death! 

END OF PLOT

I usually don't do the whole "step-by-step plot explain"-style blog posts as I think they're kind of lazy, even tacky, but in some case it's all just so weird you have to lay it out just to understand it yourself. Second hand descriptions only enhance Game and its deliberately confusing Lee compositing. With a star kind of Frankensteined together with other movie's outtakes, stunt doubles, stand-ins, dubbers, and playing fictional characters, the idea of narrative and of acting roles is exposed as the sham act it is, fuel for the hypnotist that is us. It takes many viewings to savvy all this, grasshopper, so let me help you skip the first dozen tries. It takes a lot of training! Now let those peacock's fly, "Sherman!"

See also the Other 11 Nights of Wood, and Wood-esquery:

Wednesday, December 22, 2021

Eternal Rewards: ORGY OF THE DEAD (1965)

(Night #4 of the Ten Days of Ed Wood Acidemic Holiday Special) 

If you watch Plan Nine from Outer Space two or three times a year, as many of us do, you probably wish there could be a whole movie of Vampira lolling around the mist-enshrouded graveyard, arms raised classic cartoon sleepwalker fashion. And... while we're wishing... maybe this time she could talk? Maybe was emceeing a Halloween-style strip show line-up of lost female souls summoned to dance to escape damnation? Maybe the Mummy and the Wolf Man were there too, acting as bouncers? And there was enough mist, skulls, and Martin Denny-style lounge music to fill six ordinary movies? And Criswell was ruling over all of it, lolling in his shiny black cape and laughing mirthlessly? Such a dream would be--in the words of a bare bodkin-contemplating Hamlet, devoutly to be wished! 

ORGY OF THE DEAD (1965) is that dream, oh bare bodkin-fancier: Fawn Silver as "the Black Ghoul" isn't quite on Vampira's level, but she does manage to keep a straight face as she introduces the girls. Criswell, as "the Emperor of Darkness," looks all boozed-up--dilated and doughy, glazed-eyed and cue card-dependent--but his hair and black cape shine in the starlight and his voice is the same never-ending source of resonant delight, and his words are still written and cue-carded by the great Ed Wood, send the whole thing over into paroxysms of surrealist bliss:

Now all we need is a reprint of
Ed's original novel, please
"It is said on clear nights, beneath the cold light of the moon, howl the dog and the wolf, and creepy things crawl out of the slime; it is then the ghouls feast in all their radiance." 

Only Wood would describe ghouls as "radiant." You can feel his love for his monsters - even if they are to be "pitied" and "despised." His affection for all oddballs permeates the ether and extends even to the moon, which "comes forth once more to shine in radiance and contentment." 

 Contentment indeed. Can you doubt it? 

The weird language continues as Criswell sets the scene:

 "Time seems to stand still. Not so the ghouls, when a night of pleasure is at hand!"

He's sure right on one level - time does seem to stand still. 

But there are two members of the so-called "living world" driving to their destiny: burly horror writer Bob (Edward Bates) and his stacked but virgin redhead girlfriend Shirley (Pat Barington) are headed off to a remote graveyard under a spooky full moon. Why? Bob needs inspiration for his monster fiction (he's a writer of lurid paperbacks) and full moons are the best time to go. She would rather they went somewhere else. His insistence on dragging her to the middle of nowhere in the dead of night seems passive-aggressive--maybe as a revenge for not putting out (the way guys bring dates to R-rated horror movies at the drive-in, despite their protestations)--but who are we to judge? 

Shirley (Ed's drag name, by the way) wishes he'd write about something other than monsters. Bob argues: "My monsters have done well for me. They sell in the top spots. You want me to give all that up and write about trees, or dogs, or daisies?"  

Writing about daisies. Their love life is--we glean--very chaste (maybe Shirley is an echo of Ed's first wife, who the story goes, was very old-fashioned and wouldn't put out before they were married, only to then divorce him as soon as she 'met' Shirley): "Your puritan upbringing holds you back from my monsters," he says, "but it certainly doesn't hurt your art of kissing."  Like Brad and Janet in Rocky Horror Picture Show, it's clear these two are going to need a night spent in the company of some of the degenerate swinger undead to loosen sexual repression's buzzkill shackles. 

But will it loosen them too much, as in from their mortal coils? It all depends on how fast the dawn comes. 

The dance floor shall be a cemetery clearing, flanked by imposing tombs, and and lined with grave markers and swirling fog. Seated on the stairs of one of the larger monuments comes Criswell. He is "Emperor of the Night," and he bids the Black Ghoul (Fawn Silver) to come forth. She does, with arms outstretched in front like a cartoon sleepwalker. A werewolf and a mummy appear also, to watch and do the Emperor's bidding, as do a pair of burly dudes in tiki-torch island native wear who escort the dancers from the tomb to the stage, as well as whip them and/or shower them with gold coins as their emperor commands. See, Criswell is not playing around: "If I am not pleased by tonight's entertainment I shall banish their souls to everlasting damnation!" And with that...

THE PARADE  BEGINS

And thus, with a clap of the Black Ghoul's hands, comes the first in a very long line of performers. First-- a Native American fire dancer, "one who loves flame,' says the Black Ghoul, "Her lover was killed in flame... She died... in flame." A lounge record of Native American chants and tribal drumming plays; she 'dances' as if half-heartedly trying to remember a calisthenics class while waiting for a bus. After a few minutes of this--which feels like hours--the drumming/chanting abruptly ends. We see a shot of Criswell, barely awake, looking up --are we done!? Not so fast! The needle is pulled back to restart the record--the tom-toms beat on! A fire is burning throughout to symbolize... flame... but for some reason the camera keeps it below screen. 

Colleen O'Brien is next as a streetwalker ("one who prowls the lonely streets of life is bound to prowl them in eternity"), sashaying barefoot to a laid-back Spanish guitar, tinny piano and hazy sax.O'Brien seems to be at least able to convey a good time, even going so far as to wink  at the camera (which Criswell loves in a cutaway) and cavorting with a skeleton under nice Gold Key comic / pulp magazine lighting.  Her long candy apple hair, pink dress and blue feather boa all hang perfectly against the swirling purple fog and obsidian night around her. We could watch this routine for all eternity. And we almost do.

"Throw gold at her!"
So now we're on a roll! Next up is the "one who prized gold above else" (Pat Barington, who also plays Shirley). Natural, full-breasted and natural, hers is a perfect burlesque body, and her dance gets the best introduction. Lifted from a slab in her comely crypt by the two Pacific islander slaves, she rises as bongos, mariachi trumpet, xylophone, and skittery flute get her limbs and hips in motion . "Throw gold at her!" declares mighty Cris. They do. But it's never enough, no matter who much they throw. "More gold!" Criswell shouts. "MORE GOLD! More Gold! Ahahahaha!"

 "For all eternity she shall have gold!" 

Obligingly melting down the gold in a big cauldron, the boys dunk her in it and she emerges a gold-covered corpse ala Goldfinger (which came out the year before). The natives carry her back to her slab, the fog comes rolling in, the crickets and piano pound, and Ciswell notes of the two agape humans " both couldn't help but remember a line from one of Bob's stories -- 'I know I should think of other things, pleasant things, but how can I when shadows are all around me...'" Yes, it's verbatim from Ed's narration in The Final Curtain, but what the hell. That was never aired, so so what? 

Next up is one of the worst in the line-up: Texas Starr in a shitty leopard costume with dark red ears, with bit ugly squares cut in the fabric so her naked chest and ass stick out. Notes Criswell's Emperor of the night, "a pussycat is born to be whipped." A slave whacks the ground or feebly whips her but she doesn't seem to notice, her paws bent forward, hopping as if jumping an invisible rope, for minute after minute. Her dancing--to an idiotic xylophone riff-- with her little bunny hop and ass wiggle in her leaopard pajamas is so inane as to defy description. Next, Criswell gets an idea, though- "it would please me very much to see the slave girl and her tortures." And so she is brought out, chained up, kinda, and whipped, kinda, mercilessly ("torture! Torture, it pleasures me!" shouts Criswell) but then her whipper leaves, her chains come off and she's just a weltless girl (Nadeja Klein) 'dancing' dazedly as the mist in the air slowly grows to the opaque level.. She rolls around on the ground, she wafts pass the still-open crypt, she wafts across the whole set. She waves her arms around. Her nipples seem too red for the rest of her. Did she put lipstick on them, like the girl in the opening credits of Ed's Take it Out in Trade? God we hope not. 

The procession goes and on and on. A Spanish flamenco dancer (Stephanie Jones) struts around the skull of her bullfighter lover; "a worshipper of snakes, and smoke.. and flame" does some good Hawaiian dance hip gyrations but has strange too-white teeth and an ill-fitting Betti Page wig; cutaways to a rattlesnake imply it's jamming along with the congas and steamy sax. The Ghoul and Criswell nod at each other with conspiratorial smiles. "She pleases me," he says. "Permit her to live in the world of the snakes." Tied to their respective sacrificial poles, Bob and Shirley start to bicker. She blames him for getting them into this mess. The Black Ghoul is lusting for Shirley and asks if she may be her prize but Criswell puts her off, first another 'entertainment!' 

Next up is a bride (Barbara Norton) dancing with the skeleton of her groom. When her dress comes off the jazzy number she's moving to switch up to a funky Herb Albert style bouncy melody and this bride shakes and shimmies and rattles her breasts around like she's swimming through the mist. She does this for what seems like ten minutes. This is the one the Wolf Man and the Mummy choose as their favorite out of the remaining line-up; the Black Ghoul convinces Criswell to speed things up as the morning will be here soon. Shirley and Bob watching stunned from their posts as the shimmying breast shaker goes on and on.

"The princess of darkness would have you for her own to join us in extreme pain," Criswell tells Shirley, She begs for their lives. Bob tries to offer himself in Shirley's place, so she can escape. "No one wishes to see a man dance!' sniffs Criswell.

It's rather redundant, but, more dancers! Next up, 'the zombie' (Dene Starns), putting her arms straight out in front of her, lowering them, bowing, touching her hair, putting her hands back down again, over and over. Her eyes seem scared and dead at the same time. The music plods and she doesn't even appear to blink. How she got the dead lifeless glaze in her eyes I don't know, but it's effective. Her eyes look like they were painted on the back of her closed eyelids. But they're her real eyes. Anyway, she bows. She makes a little back and forth sidestep movement. She  sort of wafts around in a circle. We have to endure this, you think, instead of watching the Black Ghoul have her way with Shirley?! By now we're squirming in anticipation! Let the Ghoul get her girl!


Criswell puts her at ease: "you shall have your pleasure, that I decree."

Bur first, the dancers continue: "This one would have died for feathers, fur and fluff... and so she did." Rene De Beau has nice breasts and kind of looks like Debbi Mazur. She does a lot of twirling. By then even those of us who came purely to see naked women dance have grown no doubt weary. With a few exceptions, the dancing all has a disconnected half-asleep aura, as if the music was added later. chosen at random, and the coffee was yet to arrive; and the girls--Silver and O'Brien aside--don't seem to be professionals but scared amateurs whose agents roped them into this by saying it's a gateway to bigger things. Some of them have that squirrelly look in their eyes, like one loud noise behind the camera and they'll dart off the set and grab the Greyhound back to Kansas. 

"Could it be a college initiation? "

By now the disconnect between movement and music has become as vast as the ocean.  And yet, in that disconnect there is a kind of modernist thrill to be unearthed. Dyed-wool Woodsians prize this treasure above all else. We know Wood didn't direct it, but he wrote it, it was his idea to cast Criswell, and he was there on set to hold Cris's cue cards. Director Stephen C. Apostlof clearly enjoyed working with Ed. After Orgy they would go to make softcore grins like The Cocktail Hostesses and Drop Out Wife full of--as Dead2rights says-- "pasty white Californians halfheartedly pretending to hump each other in blandly-hideous bedrooms, motel rooms, and living rooms, while drowsy "beautiful music" drones on in the background"  Most of these films seem lost to time and maybe we're better for it. But Orgy is its own thing. And thanks to a beautiful remastering by Vinegar Syndrome, it looks stunning, mesmerizing, inviting and ever-so radiantly ghoulish. The endless parade of half-asleep strippers are now couched in a gorgeously-lit (by Ted Mikels!) set, rich with lurid blazing colors and real 3-D depth in the swirling fog. And, while most of the dancers make time seem to stand still, we can take comfort in bleary-eyed Criswell's odd commentary, the cutaway reaction shots to the buxom redhead human witness (the red of her hair and lips is insane on this new restoration), the lesbian Vampira substitute with her belated knife act, the werewolf and mummy hanging back in the bushes, The lovely fog and Gold Key comic book cover colors, the skeletons and skulls. If you grew up as I did, slavering worshipfully over newsstand copies of Playboy and Famous Monsters of Filmland while mom or pop shopped, you know that Orgy is like some weird magic spell you wished 20 years ago at last come true. Not so much a movie as a place to live, sleep, and dream. 

That said, it goes get a bit disappointing when, after whining for her reward for half the film, the Ghoul wastes too much time dancing and waving a knife around Shirley instead of hurrying to drink her blood and make her a full-time member of the troupe. But you can't have everything.  Besides, you can always watch Jess Franco's Succubus immediately after Orgy and pretend Fawn Silver has become magically Jeanine Reynaud and the act picking up right where we left off, with a demon woman taunting a tied up couple with a dagger--and this time sealing the deal. 

But that's not to be in this film. Suddenly, it's morning! Both Criswell and the Black Ghoul turn instantly into skeletons before she can plunge in the knife.

 Girl, you wasted too much time with your damned blade dance!


Still all in all, I've found it to be the perfect movie to fall asleep to, at 4 AM. Perhaps the most touching aspect is to think how bad this used to look in cropped format with ugly colors until 2017 when the restoration and Blu-ray set came out. Looking as good as it does now more than makes up for the dull stretches. As the Joseph Ziemba wrote in 2004, 13 years before VS came through with the excellent version available on Blu-ray today: "Orgy Of The Dead is the greatest trash movie of all time... let it not rot in the vaults." Vinegar Syndrome heard that plea! They came through, before actual vinegar syndrome could work its catastrophic damage. Orgy is safe. Hurray for AFGA, SW, and VS, and for Bleeding Skull--and their continual championing of all way-outsider artist. Open the vaults of thy crypt to receive Orgy of the Dead, if you dare to doze! As erotic as a tombstone, it's ripe with eternal rewards, and now it shines with enough radiance and contentment to brighten a dozen moonless nights. 
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