Easter Acid: JESUS OF NAZARETH (1977)

Call me a heretic, but I know that if Jesus were around today he'd be passing out dosed wafers in the park like that dude in HAIR; and I believe in Claude, God, and Franco Zeffirelli because none are afraid of dropping the foolish game of fear/desire outer wheel edge running and moving straight to the center, where self-sacrifice made in pure love meets pure light and the borderline between life and death is dissolved like a line of salt up the nose of the Atlantic. That's Jesus' country. Happy Easter!

Back in 200 I was assigned all of Zeffirelli's film for a search engine project so I actually sat down and watched the entire six-hour movie in a single night. Dude! I got converted for the whole rest of the weekend. Being less than a year in AA, I literally saw the light. It helped I was in the 'pink light' phase of early recovery; I wept a lot in those days, the one thing I miss being on antidepressants. THE APOSTLE and BROTHER SUN, SISTER MOON were two other films I saw around the same time, and they made me pink-light gratitude weepy as well. Props to: Bobby D., Dr. Bob, Franco Z, Billy W., Robert P.

My previous relationship with Jesus had consisted in various peaks and spiritual elevations, manic highs and exalted weekends, all followed by loss and depression. I would feel Jesus ever present as my wingman, and vice versa, and all would be glorious summer and love and egoless benevolence coursing like electricity through me, thanks to his magic... until he said, "Okay, now try it yourself for awhile, I have to go take care of something, I'll be back... soon." Pretty soon my whole magical worldview would implode as the devil would move in to fill the gap, like the 'fun' uncle. Then of course there's the heaping amount of intolerance that goes on JC's holy name, which he does nothing to stop. All in all, you could describe his behavior as 'erratic.'

But Jesus is the ultimate in cool customers; hhe waits and waits and never begs you to take him back. He waits 'til you're in that foxhole of mortal fear and your atheism melts in the panic and then he forgives you; he never loses his edge of mystery; he's always the hottest guy in the room, spirituality-wise, though I'm sure there's plenty may disagree. But even if he doesn't exist except as a concept in a lot of folks' minds you have to agree that concepts have a lot of power.

That's especially true in Zeffirelli's JESUS OF NAZARETH. According to my Argentine socialist intellectual filmmaker ex-wife, there's paintings and pictures all over South America taken from this mini-series TV event, and thus in millions of Catholic minds ever since, Actor Robert Powell's Jesus is Jesus. That's what makes me so suspicious of the Shroud of Turin, why does Jesus look exactly like Robert Powell?

This must be said: Powell's performance as Jesus is probably one of the most amazing, deeply spiritual things I've ever seen. With his "piercing blue eyes surrounded by plenty of white, same expression with the mouth, same ecstatic near-death look in the eyes," as Sir Guy of Gisbornne describes, "I remember being totally electrified by Powell (I was 8)."

I hear you, Sir Guy. I was electrified and I was 28!

My favorite scenes involve Michael York as a gonzo John the Baptist (above). We even get to see Salome (Isabel Mestres) dance for King Herod (Christopher Plummer) and get old John's head served to her on the proverbial platter. York's big baptism scene with Powell is a powerhouse moment that rocketed me into archaic Christian nirvana. The rest of the cast is solid aces: Ann Bancroft as Mary Magdalene, Olivia Hussey the Virgin Mary, and the rest of the cast is all in beards.... except for the delectable Claudia Cardinale who is the adulteress Jesus saves from stoning.

That scene is one of the best. While anger brews, Jesus is sitting on the ground throwing small rocks back and forth against a wall and staring at them like runes - suddenly he gets up and launches into the "ye without sin" speech, and it flows so organically you're like, yo Jesus! I fucking love you! And Powell finds the line between being ass-kicking and fearless, masculine and idealistic, with being fathomlessly compassionate and kind.

Another hugely powerful moment is the crucifixion scene. We've seen Jesus take everything in stride, even his beating and whipping and thorn crowning, and nailing hands to the cross, but it's when the hoist up the cross, and Jesus feels the agony in his hands and shoulders as he's lifted up by these wounds that his eyes suddenly bug out in total surprise and pain. It's like this finally is so much pain he's suddenly agonizingly human, just for a second. His transcendence afterwards thus has so much power, even a stone shall not go unmoved.

So with all that in mind, shouldn't all these stone-minded Christians stop stoning our beloved Lindsay Lohan?  If this film were remade, she'd be the ideal choice to play the adulteress. Talk about forcing those stone-casters to take a second or two before casting their next nasty e-comment!

 

So, wrapping up this sermon: Happy second birthday, Jesus! Keep coming back, it works if you work it so work it, we're worth it, and you're worth workin' it for. Even if those who act in your name are often violent idiots you're still cool. Amen, brother! Thank you thank you thank you. And Jesus, your Zeffirelli biography with all its actual locations, strong acting, fast-pace, trenchant insight, and painterly lush photography would look awesome on blu-ray! Just sayin' - if you want to pull some strings.