Angels of Death: 10 Favorites

I love chicks that are truly crazy, not the faux bad-assedness of poseurs like Winona Ryder in Heathers, who express remorse for their murders of douche bags as if mom and censor are waiting just off camera but those who are truly liberated, in a way that may just terrify even the bourgeois tenured profs who presume themselves beyond knee-jerk anti-feminist patriarchal reactions. Me, I feel the patriarchy and those stuffy profs deserve it. It's payback time for the Inquisition... With these devilish damsels on the screen, every day is Halloween.

People come to horror movies to see their deepest, unresolved, pre-empathic infantile anger expressed and cathartically exorcised. Bela Lugosi was our embodiment of this rage as children - the egomaniacal genius who scorned society and its unconscious banality. Those who make horror films these days are often unconscious themselves, so brainwashed by the big Other they genuinely believe their audience can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. For them evil must be punished, and is not 'sexy.' I praise the chthonic bitchez in these films for they stomp all over 'safe' characterizations, who trust the audience not to start killing everyone the moment the film's over just because the lady on the screen did it and didn't get punished for it.

I only wish I could mention the great female killers from certain gialli, but that would be giving away the plots and I would never, never ever ever do that. So on that note, the following are all certified Halloween essentials with no doubts that this girl/s am evil.

Yoko Mimimada

HOUSE

1977

I need to see this film about a dozen more times before I'll be able to write about it, but whatever... it's paisley psychedelic strangeness -- with Yoko (I think) playing the demonic doppelganger auntie to a gaggle of schoolgirls who are all devoured by her deadly... house. She's old and in a wheelchair but as the girls are consumed she becomes younger and more empowered until in a final showdown she's a picture perfect soap commercial model. This film may be too out there even for an 'enhanced' audience, but is the kind of thing you can freak out people of all ages with and see around 800 times. If you need to come down afterwards, try AUDITION!

Sue Lyon

MURDER IN A BLUE WORLD 

1973

Two things I'm crazy for, nurses and mercy killing, all rolled up into one with Sue Lyon as a crazy homicidal nurse who kills patients so they don't have to spend their lives crippled, old, or boring. Meanwhile a bunch of douche bags with tacky helmets, whips, and dune buggys pull some of the old surprise party ultra violence on random families who are usually watching Clockwork Orange-related programming (released just two years earlier). You get the impression this Spanish director Eloy de la Iglesia really loves his Kubrick (Sue was, of course, Stanley's LOLITA). She's aged well, but alas has the aging sex goddess doing cheap Italian horror movies to pay the bills thing going on. Still, this could be worse.

The incredible Kimberly Lindbergs champions the film over at TCM's Movie Morlocks thus:

...by making Sue Lyon his muse, Eloy de la Iglesia hijacks Kubrick’s LOLITA and leaves the audience questioning their voyeuristic relationship with the cinema and its effect on our own sexual impulses. Eloy de la Iglesia‘s Lolita isn’t a fictional ideal of feminine beauty or a hapless victim of the male ego and Sue Lyon seems to get a kick out of exploiting her character. By the end of MURDER IN A BLUE WORLD it becomes apparent that Stanley Kubrick’s films have been thoroughly deconstructed and put back together in such an unusual way that Sue Lyon is able to completely redefine her celebrated ’60s role.

Priscilla Lawson

FLASH GORDON

1936

People remember the monsters and Flash's wrestling tights from the brilliant original 1936 serial, but not everyone remembers that at the core of all the derring-do was a hot love quadrangle, with Princess Aura, daughter of Ming the Merciless, lusting uninhibitedly after the earth man, who stays true to Dale (Jean Rogers), the long-suffering earth woman who is desired b Ming. Dale is often thrown into very revealing gowns and pawed by hawkmen, old Ming, and crab clawed dragon monsters, while Aura slithers around and pulls strings behind her father's throne. It was Princess Aura I had the hots for as a kid, and Lawson is pretty solid, and awfully kinky-- a kind of Fah Lo Suee of Mongo. I guess it was okay to lust uninhibitedly in a 1930s serial if you never get your man. "Space Soldiers" is I think the name this hides under on the Netflix stream. If you can see the whole serial, if you can't see the edited together feature SPACE SOLDIERS. Either way, see!

Allison Hayes

ZOMBIES OF MORA TAU 

1958

The best parts of this film are not even the hilarious underwater fights (slow motion with a blurry filter = clearly shot on dry land) but the scenes with Allison Hayes as the bitchy trophy wife of the rich fat cat behind the seafaring gold-huntin' expedition out to this all-white Voodoo Isle. In case you forgot, Hayes is the 50 FOOT WOMAN from the film ATTACK thereof. And she's a  honey for the ages --as tough as nails and hotter than Georgia asphalt. She seems to have slithered off the cover of a 1930s pulp magazine where she was holding an automatic at the heart of some masked avenger...

And she turns into a zombie, in this film, and the idiot non-zombie people just won't even... well, let me turn you over to Day of the Woman's Britney-Jade Colangelo, from whom I cribbed the image above:

Allison Hayes has been my WotW before, and we've mentioned her classic status as the 50 ft. Woman, but I didn't talk much about her in Zombies of Mora Tau. In this film, she sports quite possibly the GREATEST bra that man has ever known. I have no idea how boobs that big are up that high. It's a miracle. Now you look at her and she looks less like a Zombie and more like a model, but hey, it works for me. Just because you're not rotting doesn't mean you can't lust for BRAAAAAAAAAAINS.

The hottest moment is when Hayes talks her rich fatcat into letting her kiss the handsome hunk hero! Right in front of him! Fat cat even has to insist as his employer to let her do it!! In a way, that's a 1970s thing a good 20 years ahead of schedule!

Beatrice Dalle

TROUBLE EVERY DAY
2001

"TROUBLE fulfills the promise of CAT PEOPLE which told of a race of humans who would turn into black leopards after making love and could turn human again only after taking a life. However in Paul Schrader's 1982 version, these killings were kind of tepid, with the panther striking while the victim is lolling around in a post-coitus haze. None of that waiting around for Denis! The way Dalle continues to obliviously whisper and coo in her now dead lovers' ears for example, links to her a real cat lady, the type tries to keep toying with heir prey long after its breathing has stopped. Such scenes are few and far between (a similar one was apparently edited from later cuts of LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT). Perhaps such scenes make producers uncomfortable because they threaten the safety of their model of the cinemagoer as one already dead and presumed therefore impervious to attack, as if the image and the eye are tectonic plates and the idea of cinema is to promise contact yet prevent any actual buckling. Dalle's sexuality buckles it and triggers a simulacratic melt-down; the covetous eye is torn out in a fit of enjoyment that transcends all textual boundaries. "(cont. reading here)

 Mariclare Costello

LET'S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH

1971

It's tough being a paranoid schizophrenic when everyone really is out to get you. This is what Jessica learns when she and her husband and some meathead move to an island off New England to get away from the big Apple's 70s crime. They find a squatter named Emily (Costello) living in their big manse, and are about to kick her out, but she's kind of cute and the meathead takes a shine to her.  Jessica is just pumped that she didn't hallucinate Emily -- she really is there! And she plays the lute. And her picture is in an old frame in the attic dated in the 1800s. Uh oh... There's a really terrifying scene where Emily makes a pass at Jessica, and then kind of --- well, it's freaky, quiet, fucked up beyond rational thought, and awesome. This movie screams addition to any Saturday fright night roster.

All the Ladies on the Isle

THE WICKER MAN 

2006

"Many critics label LaBute a misogynist, but his remake of WICKER MAN allows him to portray plenty of very powerful, frightening, intelligent women going up against a coarse, unconscious, ineffectual male cop and that's the opposite of what a misogynist would do. For many men, a truly liberated, sexually aggressive, snarling female is one of the most terrifying creatures ever conceived of by - and I hesitate to say God because God is suddenly not even a "He" when they're around, and everything gets dark and scary and one's balls shrink and release hormones of queasy dread that hit us like an extra dose of gravity. And without the people of Summers' Isle kowtowing to his manly whims, Nic Cage's "A Child is Missing, damn you!" righteousness is revealed as the macho bullying it's always has been.  Cage here is like the sister's boorish boyfriend in REPULSION or the sleazy neighbor in CARNIVAL OF SOULS, only here he's outnumbered and roaring like an old pervert crushed to death under the headlights of a Russ Meyer supervixen. (Where the Wild Wicker Lieutenants Are, 1/7/10)

 Ruth Gordon

ROSEMARY'S BABY

1968

What Polanski dredges out of Ruth Gordon’s clown-cake make-upped old lady smile is an evil against which there is no rational defense if you've been socially conditioned --as a woman in the 20th century--to be nice and decent to friendly elderly neighbors. Since Minnie Castavet is old and perky and adorable there is no defense against her prying, manipulating, and ensnaring because according to the social doctrine old ladies must be obeyed while women Rosemary's age are treated like children too incompetent to know what's best for their own wombs.

Marki Bey

SUGAR HILL

1974

"Played by Marki Bey, a regular on STARSKY AND HUTCH, Sugar Hill is amazing! It's great to be rooting for a murderous voodoo priestess and not have to worry she's going to develop a conscience or let love weaken her resolve for deadly reprisal-making via a series of comic book-style death traps involving zombie massages ("Treat me easy, easy," the unwitting massage recipient asks); a severed chicken foot (a peak AIP moment); voodoo dolls ("When the doll is enflamed you will pick up the knife and use it on yourself!"), leg cramps, and hungry pigs ("Hope they like white trash!"). When the 'good' guys are the zombies, the mobster bad guys don't have a chance in hell... and I'm in psychotronic heaven."(9/9/10)

 Lesley Tapin

LEMORA: A CHILD'S TALE OF THE SUPERNATURAL

1973

Sweet Lila Lee (Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith) escapes her creepy preacher foster parent and catches a midnight bus to spookville in this low budget and all the more eerie for it thriller. If you ever used to catch those bizarre, faded color, cheap puppet and bad dubbing-infused German and Swedish 'kid's film' K. Gordon Murray imports on TV or in the local matinees then the threadbare theatricality of LEMORA will be like remembering a childhood nightmare. There's some vague lesbian resonance between the evil Lemora and Rainbeux as Lemora introduces her to a lot of weird perverse blood-drinking style shit, and I cannot reveal the awesome ending!

 For another great women in horror top ten, check out this from last February's Women in Horror Month.