Showing posts with label Hong Kong. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hong Kong. Show all posts

Friday, July 06, 2018

Wild Wild Wuxia: The Gloriously Weird Streams the Shaw Brothers


It's July --perfect time to cozy up in the AC with a seemingly limitless stream of cool Hong Kong fantasy cinema from the late 70s-early 80s streaming free on Amazon Prime. Encouraged by the popularity of Star Wars in the late 70s, Shaw Brothers studios cranked out their own sweeping fantasy adventures, upping the weirdness factor black mamba percent. Wizards, princesses, monsters, myths, dangerous challenges, pursuits of ancient magical weapons and martial arts manuals all flowed in amidst the beautifully choreographed martial arts. Even better than Star Wars in a lot of ways, these films featured women (rather than "a" woman) who were not just pretty objects or damsels needing rescuing but warrior women: seductress fox spirits, fairy changelings and snake girls, expert in the handling and throwing of deadly serpents, or spiders, and even clans of martial artist nuns called the Er Mei, often led by a deadly ruthless leader with a strict 'no men' policy. Suddenly chivalry at the expense of action is exposed as the lamest kind of misogyny.

from Bat Without Wings (Battle Wizard, top)
The films discussed here look ravishing on Prime, far better then they ever have even on past DVDs.  I chose five, based on factors like strong female characters and roots in Chinese mythology. High lighted is the work of director Chu Yuan, aka Yuen Chor-- whose stress on Jungian resonance (thanks to the popular novels of Gu Long)  huge, beautiful misty sets, and Bava level gel lightinng (like Black Sabbath spilled over onto a vast Chinatown train set) make him a cult secret the bulk of the USA needs to get over their disdain for subtitles (the dubbing into English is often kind of bad) and discover the goofy hyper-caffeinated treasure just sitting there on the endless planes of streaming. 

To my eyes, the gorgeous HD remastering of the Shaw's vast indoor posing as outdoor sets, with their careful color gel lighting, mist and cherry blossom loveliness, makes any quibbles with overly complex plotting and repetitive action seem inconsequential. Over at Golden Harvest they film outdoors more often, and those titles tend to look washed-out and drab, people sweat too much under the heat of the sun and the high humidity; but the Shaw Brothers make a universe inside their vast sound stages full of lush waterfalls, cliffs, fog, mist, cherry and plum blossoms, and ever-setting suns, cobwebs, secret passages that lead to huge gel-lit beautiful caves filled with glistening skulls, coffins and spiderwebs. The forests at night are dappled with cornflake snow amidst the cherry and plum blossoms. The effect is like an alternate reality dreamscape - a vast roofed ancient China-themed miniature golf course-style/Disney log-riding animatronic air conditioned dream paradise (at least that's my amniotic dream paradise-I always imagined as a kid sneaking off the little log boat and living out amidst the animatronic pirate skeletons and spooky caves full of treasures and comfortable air-conditioned, humming hiding places. I feel that fantasy come stirring up  from summer heat watching these Chu Yuan wuxias. Maybe you will too, presuming your HD TV is as magnificent as mine, and why shouldn't it be? So blast the AC, turn on the subtitles, and move your chair so the vent is blowing right on your face, and burn a quick joss stick so celestial Buddha knows where to find you when you sneak off the ride and into the haunted forest. 

1. BAT WITHOUT WINGS 
(1980) Dir. Chu Yuan
*** 1/2 / Amazon Image - A+

Even if they have no familiarity with the wuxia genre, fans of the colorful atmosphere-drenched 60s horror of Mario Bava should seek out Bat Without Wings, for the rich color-drenched atmosphere is very similar. The story however is totally, as they say, batshit. Within vast caverns of cobwebs lie (terrible) statues made by a crackpot mad artist--a former mad rapist-murderer--who's allegedly being held on a remote island full of elaborate traps after being apprehended or supposedly killed years ago by a barrage of martial arts masters in a wild, confusing prologue. If you don't mind occasionally losing the threads of the elaborate tapestry plot as it zips around from place to place, you can just soak up the atmosphere and bizarre horror touches like the ghost of one of the Bat's victims appearing at the gate of her homestead, all bathed in green and holding her severed head in one hand and a paper lantern in the other. Weirder still: the seemingly invulnerable Bat (Feng Ku) is made up like an Asian Gene Simmons. Storming in and out of ladies' chambers with the heavy lightness of a roadshow barnstorming evil villain come for his rent, this round little maniac is an unmitigated delight.  Mwahahah. He flies around slaughtering whole parties of trained security guards just because a girl in their party looks like another girl! Chen Shan is the leader of the easily slain Hell Gang. The inescapable Derek Yee is the master swordsman is employed to find out what the hell is going on -- is the Bat really dead or what? Not to spoil things, but there's a missing 'Bat' blade that can render its user ultra-powerful. Some want it found and destroyed, others have secret agendas for power. Mwah hahha!

There's talk about the Bat being a serial rapist-murderer, but we never see him actually rape anyone, which helps. We do find his early victim sent home in parts, but the limbs look so fake you can all but see the mannequin joint lock holes. At the end there's a whole mess of Scooby Doo-style turns and tricks in a giant, beautifully-lit cavern, full of magic and the clanging of swords, all way cooler and more ridiculous than any exploitation rape/revenge story. In fact, in the right mood, in the right environment (like home in the AC during a sweltering heat wave on my Sony Bravia) it's kind of like weird film lover heaven. Just don't worry if the byzantine multi-generational, doubling plots flutter away from your mind's little net. In a Chu Yuan production you can always just trip out on the gorgeously-lit strange landscape sets, eerie caverns and ghostly figures walking slowly the distance... before their heads fall off. 

2. THE BLACK LIZARD
(1981) Dir. Chu Yuan
***/ Amazon Image - A+

Strange characters come and go in this oft confusing but beautifully-shot little mystery, topping each other's reveals with complex machinations so over-the-top the story becomes like every old dark house mystery from the 30s pureed together with Scooby Doo and Wilkie Collins frosting, all while still being packed with wuxia swordplay. Even if that sounds irritating, the green and red colors glow so valiantly in the swirling Chu Yuan mist that fans of Bava-style spooky atmosphere can't help but rejoice to see. Colored gel lights fill each corner of the frame with delightfully spooky ambience as characters prowl abandoned houses and rainy verandas filled to the brim with exotic period decor.

From what I gather of the plot, a mysterious man in a blazing, memorably intense red cloak and lizard skin face keeps carting a coffin around with a talking wooden effigy of swordsman Lung Fei's fiancee inside. Wait, didn't he just say goodbye to her in the previous scene? And why did he tell her he'd be gone for two years but then can ride back to her in the span of a single dissolve and where did he go, and why and what? There's an abandoned house next to her father's lavish mansion, where the coffin maybe went. Something evil is going on; the indefatigable Derek Yee, a sharp swordsman swept up in this multigenerational mystery, skulks and leaps through windows as the local constable. Seems there is an ancient curse on the pond/river/lake in the back yard; a black lizard demon may have sired a son to a his late wife, which led to the wife and son, who turned into a lizard, disappearing into the mist. A mysterious woman in white utters dire pronouncements, disappears and then reappears; people are wrapped up in wooden effigies of themselves, and coffins are thrown around like beach balls. 

It may not make sense even after many viewings (PS - it does after the third viewing) but who cares when, under director Chu Yuan's painterly direction, the electric emerald green filter through the fog and clash brilliantly against the deep red of the bad guy's lipstick. A giant lizard flies out of the lake; people are buried alive inside their own wooden effigies; secret panel doors come flying off; true identity shielding and byzantine inter-family paranoia flows through like a river of distilled old dark house movie square up reels. Why try to cross it when you can swim in it instead? Do like Kim Newman tells you in his Mark of the Vampire DVD commentary: soak in the ample atmosphere and savor the horror elements and don't let the Scooby Doo denouement sour the supernatural charge offered by this beautiful piece of deep colored Shaw Brothers wuxia spookiness, now all a-glow in perfect HD.

3. FULL MOON SCIMITAR
(1979) Dir. Chu Yuan 
***  / Amazon Image - A

A betrayed martial artist (Derek Yee) is about to kill himself for shame after blowing a Big Duel (his opponent's wife seduced him the night before and stole his manual) but instead falls in love with a green-lit fox spirit (in the Chu Yuan universe, the realms of the dead are always accessible through the mist and bathed in a haunting green light) named Qing Qing (Lisa Wong). They marry and he goes to live with her in 'the spectral world.' The scenes set there are so gorgeous and ethereal that you'll want to cross the veil and rent a bungalow: it seems to be always night there, with a gentle breeze, and the ornate soundstage indoor/outdoor magic of it all is supremely seductive, with plenty of cherry blossoms and lantern lit night. Who would ever want to leave?. Well, once he starts practicing with Qing Qing's magical scimitar, Ding Peng does wants to leave, at least to take his revenge. He convinces his now-wife to come with him and use her haunting skillz to arrange revenge on Ruo Song, posing as her own treacherous sister (?) and betraying Song with supernatural trickery that ensures an easy victory. But naturally old Ding isn't satisfied. He wants to keep going and be the best in the martial arts world, little knowing how much damage he's doing to his spectral home life in the pursuit of wealth and fame and just how truly treacherous Ruo Song really is. Naturally it all ends in a big grievance-airing international duel and, hopefully, a happy ending

Love that setting sun spotlight

And though that's all kind of inevitable for a Chu Yuan Shaw Brothers movie, once again it's the mist-enshrouded magical ancient landscapes, like gorgeous life-size dioramas stretching across apparently endless soundstages, that haunt the mind and make this so worth seeing. Alas, it's also quite tragic: Peng becomes a real dick to Qing Qing (he even remarries claiming he can't be with a fox forever, i.e. he's a bigamist and she's just supposed to fade away even though she's pregnant). You hope it will end happily but in a Shaw Brothers movie, it's not guaranteed, and the ending is way too abrupt. Such is the way of the Tao. It's the journey... it's the journey... it's the journey... 

A girl and her snakes

4. THE BATTLE WIZARD
(1977) Dir. Hsueh Li Pao
*** Amazon Image: A

Based on a fantasy novel by Jin Yong, this stars Dan Lee as a scholarly bibliophilic doofus who runs away from home to avoid learning kung fu. Alone, naive and even a trifle thick-headed and surly, he meets a pretty young girl named Lin (Chen Che Lin) who has sleeves full of snakes she uses as both deadly accurate weapons and couriers (she writes the characters on their underbellies). After some antagonistic bickering the pair join forces, but then promptly run afoul of 'the Poison Gang.' Volleys of poisonous vermin are thrown back and forth (she launches a venomous snake literally into him via his belly button), and then--with Lin held hostage by the gang--our doofus scholar must find her ninja sister (Ni Tien) to help defeat the Poison Gang and then --well-- if you must know, he winds up gaining super powers through drinking the blood of a giant red snake he kills while hiding out on one of those mysterious hidden cliffside oases hapless heroes often fall down into after being thrown off cliffs. 

Like so many of us bookworm introverts, our hero seems to be largely dependent on toxins for courage, but you got to respect a guy who--when a girl tells him to drink the blood of a giant red snake that's trying to constrict him to death in the middle of a pond-- he doesn't hesitate). Later, when Lin tells him to swallow a  poisonous toad-- whole!--he does! No questions asked! Dude, drinking snake blood is one thing, shooting a living toad down your throat like it it's a double shot of tequila? Bro, think of how high that must get you!

Man. this dope flick as everything: a gorilla kung fu expert kept in a pit, the titular battle wizard (friends of Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China will recognize he's got a lot of the same skills, including fire breathing), and a crazy bald green fanged monster rapist with a detachable claw arm who can outrun horses.

It's the journey... 

5. BUDDHA'S PALM
(1982) Dir Taylor Wong
***1/2 / Amazon Image - B+

With a great 80s synth score and lots of animated fire and magic effects, this is a fine companion piece to THE BATTLE WIZARD. Like that film, our callow lead, Lung (Tung Shing Yee) starts out a churlish brat, and he also winds up in a secret oasis after being tossed off a cliff, this time after a shaggy dog-style friendly dragon rescues him on his way down. There he meets the Flaming Cloud Devil (Alex Man) who wants to teach him the unbeatable Buddha's Palm. Lung doesn't want to learn it, and it's precisely why Flaming Cloud Devil insists on teaching him. Ha! Here's a film that's clearly got some Star Wars influence to it, but Lucas would never have so many strong female characters, nor an evil henchmen kid with a huge acid pus-spraying facial tumor, or a dragon that never tries to be more realistic than a floppy life-size muppet, or a villain with a super extendable giant killer foot. You heard me! It's the Heavenly Foot of the 10,000 Swords Clan! (Shih Kien!) There are villains named Flying Bells (Chen Szu-chia), Flying Loops (Yum Yum Shaw), and the Thunderbolt Devil (as he uses sound waves). Now that he knows the Palm, and has partially restored Flaming Cloud Devil's sight (via a magic dragon egg he won in a contest), Lung must help his master bring the Foots, Loops and Bolts to heel in a series of spectacular laser, sound wave, and spinning kick-filled brawls.


Special shout out to the great Lieh Lo as the mysterious, ever-clowning (but never obnoxious) friend of both Flaming Cloud Devil and the bitchy leader of the Er Mei school. He tends to arrive at just the right time (a little late), proclaiming "Bi Gu of East Island is here!" like his own PR man/herald. Like, now the party can start (I love him). As with so many of the best wuxias, there's scenes at an all-girl Er Mei school (where Lung finds a girl ally), but a standout is the sight of Heavenly Foot using his percussion set to drive his daughter crazy (turns out he controls her actions via a poisonous internal centipede). Just watching him in sped-up motion playing an array of cymbals and gongs with his foot and hands, dopey grin on his face, driving everyone insane, is a priceless privilege. He is so evil! Oh that crazy Foot! Flaming Cloud Devil ends up converting a few of the Er Mei's expelled girl students (they help Lung after he helps them steal a relic that can fix their abbot's acne). And eventually most grievances are resolved and there's a big celebration - but no worries, there's still trouble a Foot! And a giant all-out battle that dwarfs all that came before. Hahaha!
---

6. HOLY FLAME OF THE MARTIAL WORLD
(1983) Dir. Chin-Ku Lu
*** / Amazon Image - A-

American critics of HK fantasy films often note that they seem to be on fast forward when just playing normally. Here's exhibit A. Holy Flame zips along like it's running a well-practiced relay race, making us all wonder what kind of coffee they serve at the Shaw Studios. (My viewing strategy: just presume your first guess on what's going on is correct--it usually is, but if not, don't dwell on it or you'll miss three other things). The flame of the title is a weird looking weapon with a gem in the center. Naturally the hero is a young orphan whose parents died protecting the secret of the flame's hiding place from a wittily-subtitled gang of greedy kung fu clan leaders. The secret is hidden somewhere in the mind or on the skin or something of the boy, who grows up guarded by a hilarious old master named the Phantom (Phillip Kwok!). His unbeatable weapon is a devastating sonic overload, produced by 'ghost laughter.' The sight of him making weird gestures and rollicking around on his lotus position legs, roaring with delight and causing hurricane winds, is right up there with Heavenly Foot's magic percussion attacks in Buddha's Palm as far edifying. One of the nicest of all kung fu teachers in all Shaw-land, nothing fazes or annoys the Phantom. He never has a single negative thing to say, and his good-natured laughter is infectious.

Best of all, one of the main villains is a white-haired woman -Tsing Yin (Leanne Lau), the master of the Er Mei-- as seen in Heavenly Sword and Dragon Sabre, Buddha's Palm, etc. --an all-woman kung fu school whose first rule is no 'congress' with men. (Naturally that law gets broken constantly and punishment is severe).  There's a young student (Siu Chung Mok) of the other villain, golden-haired lion man Monster Yu (Jaso Pal Piao)--leading to crises of loyalty vs. righteousness, or whatever (can't stop to think). The big climactic battle is full of dizzying spins, lasers (by then the young girl rescued from the Blood Sucking Clan has acquired a magic laser-shooting finger thanks to touching a magic snake bladder.) Whoa, I barely scratched the surface laying it all out and my head is already spinning. Suffice it to say: there's nothing remotely like it in the US, except maybe the sorcerer duel in Corman's The Raven, but that was on slow motion by comparison, and this doesn't have a dated Mickey Mousing 'on the nose' score by Les Baxter--he could never keep up. 

The Shaw Brothers may not have been as ethical as some would like, but they've left us some beautiful, and truly weird things. And these eternal gems are just waiting around in the ether-web for more of the west to discover them, if they can keep up. 

see Also:
The Swirling Mists of Chor Yuen: 70s Shaw Brothers Wuxia II: SENTIMENTAL SWORDSMAN (Trilogy) HEAVEN SWORD AND DRAGON SABRE (1&2)

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Rothrock Rules! YES MADAM!, ABOVE THE LAW, MERCENARIES, BLONDE FURY; Carano Crushes! HAYWIRE, IN THE BLOOD


It seems we're living in an age where feminist worries about the detrimental effects of sexual violence in the media really have proven valid. Popular cinema is awash in white slavery, child abduction, sexual sadists, date rapists (the horrible disillusioning for those of us who loved Cosby as a child) and dead hookers as nothing more than 'what stays in Vegas' punchlines. Was Laura Mulvey right, the male gaze is the root of all evil? Her "Visual Pleasures in Narrative Cinema" essay opened a dialogue on the male gaze but unfortunately spawned a downer academic feedback loop as--in their drive for tenure and full professorship--film and media theorists have sometimes erred on the side of humorlessness. Attempting to highlight all the dirty bathwater they burn the baby, or drown it, or both. At least it keeps them off the streets, which aren't safe, if the last million films starring Nicolas Cage or Liam Neeson are correct.

But as winter melts away and pollen and seasonal depression lurks, a man whose gaze is only half Mulveyan at most needs deliverance, needs a break from the heavy theory and artsy shizz, and liberal arts guilt.

I'm supposed to go to a damn Laura Mulvey lecture/film screening at 6PM today/tonight (no joke)!  Jim, I'm becalmed, and no avant garde collage detournement deconstructions of 50s Hollywood's feminine ideals can raise me spirits. Not tonight, Josephine!


I'm sure Mulvey will crush it, or whatever term is gender-awareness allowable, but her film will probably be--as is so often the case when the male gaze and its 'western eye' is unplugged or jabbed-- inert, demoralizing and irritating. Fuck that! I need to see women literally crush it to feel better instead of worse. Not the usual direct-to-cable bimbos in halter tops running along some Philippine beach with plastic guns in hand, mind you, Laura, nor dour sermonizers who feel bad about all their finely wrought violence either. I'm talking women who are confident, fearless, and could believably put a hole through a windshield with a single kick.... Ain't many. Let's see two:

YES MADAM! 
(1985) Dir. Corey Yuen
***1/2
This Hong Kong hyperkinetic comic ballet has as its comic center three bumbling petty crooks who accidentally grab a MacGuffin microfiche during a robbery. Now all these crooks want to kill them! Cue manic slapstick! The ballistic Cynthia Rothrock and graceful Michelle Yeoh are a pair of HK (Rothrock sent across from 'the Yard') detectives trying to get it back and/or protect them from evil spies. Both women are great, but Rothrock is extra ballsy and fights like she's really fighting (she was a real-life karate champion). Yeoh on the other hand fights like she's dancing which is perfectly fine, and her balletic style matches that of most of the guys she battles. But she tends to kick a guy then let him recover and strike back before she lands the next blow, like one might at a martial arts demonstration rather than a competition. Rothrock never gives her opponent time to recover, she just moves in bam bam bam, like a boxer, no chance for her opponent to shake off the previous blow, or even the one before that, until he's down and out for the count. Best part is a great climactic knockdown brawl wherein their two styles merge and they bond, and its glass-and-face-smashing greatness elevates the soul. The three doofuses wear on the nerves quickly but you'll believe a girl can fly through a glass window to dodge a guy's kick and then swing around underneath it and kick him through the same hole in the glass all in one smooth flip. And you'll be right: ROTHROCK RULES!

ABOVE THE LAW 
(1986) Aka: Righting Wrongs / Dir. Corey Yuen
***

Biao Yuen stars as a Hong Kong lawyer who watches as scumbag rich criminals get off scot-free by merely having all the witnesses to their crimes, plus their children, blown-up and/or shot (by a black guy in an American army uniform); there's an undercurrent of the old British rule being corrupt and the powdered wigs they all have to wear in court look horribly itchy. Yuen winds up so pissed off he takes the law into his own hands and goes gunning for the bad guys on his off hours. He's not a very good driver but he's good at close quarters fighting when hired hit men try to run him over in a third-story parking garage. Investigative cop Rothrock talks about the evil of vigilanteism while watching a toy train run its track at a Xmas party. Great! The only drawback is the slovenly cop she picks as her assistant; he's one hell of a sloppy gross eater, to the point a sensitive guy like me has to look away. Rothrock though, man, she can fight... so I have to look back.

The final climactic brawl occurs in an airplane hangar and makes good use of everything from a propellor to an on-airplane fight to the death. Yuen more than holds his own, but its Rothrock--as an HK cop who starts out investigating the murders of all the high level scumbags but winds up on Yuen's side--who really registers. She's not here to make friends, and though she doesn't get near enough screen time, it's enough to make us realize just how much ROTHROCK RULES!

THE BLONDE FURY
(1989) AKA Lady Reporter, Righting Wrongs 2 / Dir. Mang Hoi
**1/2

Lots of the typical HK action-comedy elements, this time centered around an American FBI agent (Rothrock) who works the SF Chinatown beat and has friends in HK, so she's sent back there to crack a counterfeit ring by posing as a reporter. As per usual, all the men are either spastic morons or grinning evil bad guys, crooked pols and cops with shady motivations and/or the sullen flunkies. Rothrock isn't quite the boxy brawler from YES MADAM! and ABOVE THE LAW anymore. She's more along the Yeoh lines: graceful, agile, but the fights are often sped up slightly more than usual and her kicks don't look like they hurt as bad as they did a few years ago. Now the guys just bounce back up again and the spastic imbeciles with their bugging eyes run hither and yon with equal speed. This spastic Lewis-esque mania can be blamed maybe on director Mang Hoi --his crooks here make the ones in MADAME seem like the goddamned Danny Ocean's Eleven. We may make allowances for Continental Asia's love of 'big crowd pleaser' comedy, the kind that gets theaters full of all ages people rolling in the aisles, but then comes off labored on video alone at home or with your discerning Rothrockian film snob cronies. Helping offset the damage is a fine centerpiece battle with bamboo poles up and down three or four stories of a half-finished domicile. Its DVD is OOP but it's streaming free on the old YT and one day I swear I'll spring for the iOB. 

d
HAYWIRE 
(2011) Dir Steven Soderbergh
****

Smoky-eyed UFC fighter Gina Carano is most believably ass-kicking American babe since the early Hong Kong Rothrock, but this is no Hong Kong street brawl, this is Soderbergh making up for the outrages of CONTAGION (same year). This time the liberal hand-wringers are nowhere to be find and there's only two problems: it's rushed open ending and Ewan McGregor's terrible haircut. Otherwise it's perfect. This is Steven Soderbergh's big masterpiece as far as I'm concerned. I could go press play and re-see it right now. I've probably seen it ten times already (I bought it on Amazon streaming! Six dolla!) and I can't get enough. I sure wish it made a ton of money so it would make a dozen sequels. Instead, here comes OCEANS 18.


OK still here? Let me tell you about HAYWIRE's touching military-trained sense of cool in the face of danger, the close bond between Gina's merc and her father (Bill Paxton), a former Marine (like her) now writing books on WW2 desert warfare way up in the Colorado mountains (?), or the cold blue-eyes of Michael Fassbender as an MI6 agent lured into thinking he can kill her easy; the way Michael Douglas as a Washington insider doesn't buy her high level betrayal frame-up, and just encourages her to keep killing her way up the ladder all without ever saying anything over the phone that might implicate him in anything, and the intrinsic way she understands this; Channing Tatum as her lover / would-be assassin and their great diner brawl opener; the confused but smart hipster who gets told the backstory; the cool reflective Soderbergh surfaces and post-modern globalism that only he and a few other directors--Assayas, Liman, Greengrass--can really deliver.

Too bad though, that Carano hasn't been given much other proper material after this. She could be a new kind of Jenn Bourne, instead her best post-HAYWIRE work is in the most recent FAST AND FURIOUS, which allows her one big subway steps battle, where we're supposed to believe Michelle Rodriguez would have a chance against her. Never happen, kick-boxing class or no.

IN THE BLOOD 
(2014) Dir. John Stockwell
**

We see the importance of Steven Soderbergh's way of pulling out great depth of dark-eyed beauty from Carano's face and movements, the way she seems to be leaning way back into herself, even while throttling guys in waves of UFC leglock mount moves. During the tepid IN THE BLOOD all the best moves occur early on in a big nightclub brawl where a honeymooning Carano rescues her new husband from pimp Danny Trejo's club girl stable. That said, there's sunshine, island mood, and unrepentant violence including some sideways likenings of Carano's actions to those of Shagur in NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN. She even commits some cold-blooded outright murder, including several cops! Female action heroines are seldom more cold-blooded than even their most despicable enemies! Mad respect.

The story is a kind of THE LADY VANISHES or BREAKDOWN as a zip-lining accident leads to Gina's new husband's disappearance, and his rich father (Treat Williams) and sister accuse her of killing him for the inheritance. It's up to her now to carve a bloody torturous trail through the brush; her particular set of skills collaterally damaging several mostly-innocent people.

Director Stockwell gave us the excellent INTO THE BLUE and BLUE CRUSH (so he knows his tropical island island action) and TURISTAS (so he knows his gringo organ harvesting). But has he ever seen a lassie go this way and that way, so goddamned fast? He tries to catch up via limb-shredding and gun fire brutality, but we'd rather just see Gina kick some crap out of some Triads or Golden Tongs and aside from that nightclub scene, there's woefully little fight choreography. The anti-climactic Danny Trejo speech at the end is priceless, though. His island ladies need tourists after all, and when rich white people are attacked, it's no good for anybody's business. Amen.

MERCENARIES 
(2014) Dir. Christopher Ray
**

Zoë Bell has stunt doubled for Xena and Buffy and Uma long enough. She's stepping into her own here (after breaking out atop the Challenger in DEATH-PROOF) as an action hero lead and her hair looks great. Directed by the ersatz maniac behind MEGA SHARK VS. CROCOSAURUS, This is the B-chick version of THE EXPENDABLES: fellow Tarantino alum Vivica Fox, Asian-American badass Nicole Balderback (BRING IT ON) and TERMINATOR 3 babe Kristanna Loken team up with Bell against a dyked-out Brigitte Nielsen. The unsavory white slaver angle is handled with some level of tact, though a massive machine gun massacre of the imprisoned 'product' leaves a bad taste. Mostly there is a lot of mean talk and discovered girl bodies dealt with via vengeance of a mostly cathartic order and-- in the boondogle EXPENDABLES tradition, albeit with around a 1/100th of the budget (its director is Fred Olen-Ray's son, as if the word 'Crocosaurus' wasn't enough of a tip-off)--it walks that thin line between camp and dour angst very well.  Low budgets never stopped Hong Kong actors from delivering the goods, so why should the word 'Crocosausus' convince these ladies to phone it in? Ray can barely figure out where to put his camera but Rothrock rules eternal, even when leaving the high kicks to the kids.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...