Showing posts with label Martial Arts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Martial Arts. Show all posts

Friday, July 06, 2018

Wild Wild Wuxia: The Gloriously Weird Streams the Shaw Brothers


It's July --perfect time to cozy up in the AC with a seemingly limitless stream of cool Hong Kong fantasy cinema from the late 70s-early 80s streaming free on Amazon Prime. Encouraged by the popularity of Star Wars in the late 70s, Shaw Brothers studios cranked out their own sweeping fantasy adventures, upping the weirdness factor black mamba percent. Wizards, princesses, monsters, myths, dangerous challenges, pursuits of ancient magical weapons and martial arts manuals all flowed in amidst the beautifully choreographed martial arts. Even better than Star Wars in a lot of ways, these films featured women (rather than "a" woman) who were not just pretty objects or damsels needing rescuing but warrior women: seductress fox spirits, fairy changelings and snake girls, expert in the handling and throwing of deadly serpents, or spiders, and even clans of martial artist nuns called the Er Mei, often led by a deadly ruthless leader with a strict 'no men' policy. Suddenly chivalry at the expense of action is exposed as the lamest kind of misogyny.

from Bat Without Wings (Battle Wizard, top)
The films discussed here look ravishing on Prime, far better then they ever have even on past DVDs.  I chose five, based on factors like strong female characters and roots in Chinese mythology. High lighted is the work of director Chu Yuan, aka Yuen Chor-- whose stress on Jungian resonance (thanks to the popular novels of Gu Long)  huge, beautiful misty sets, and Bava level gel lightinng (like Black Sabbath spilled over onto a vast Chinatown train set) make him a cult secret the bulk of the USA needs to get over their disdain for subtitles (the dubbing into English is often kind of bad) and discover the goofy hyper-caffeinated treasure just sitting there on the endless planes of streaming. 

To my eyes, the gorgeous HD remastering of the Shaw's vast indoor posing as outdoor sets, with their careful color gel lighting, mist and cherry blossom loveliness, makes any quibbles with overly complex plotting and repetitive action seem inconsequential. Over at Golden Harvest they film outdoors more often, and those titles tend to look washed-out and drab, people sweat too much under the heat of the sun and the high humidity; but the Shaw Brothers make a universe inside their vast sound stages full of lush waterfalls, cliffs, fog, mist, cherry and plum blossoms, and ever-setting suns, cobwebs, secret passages that lead to huge gel-lit beautiful caves filled with glistening skulls, coffins and spiderwebs. The forests at night are dappled with cornflake snow amidst the cherry and plum blossoms. The effect is like an alternate reality dreamscape - a vast roofed ancient China-themed miniature golf course-style/Disney log-riding animatronic air conditioned dream paradise (at least that's my amniotic dream paradise-I always imagined as a kid sneaking off the little log boat and living out amidst the animatronic pirate skeletons and spooky caves full of treasures and comfortable air-conditioned, humming hiding places. I feel that fantasy come stirring up  from summer heat watching these Chu Yuan wuxias. Maybe you will too, presuming your HD TV is as magnificent as mine, and why shouldn't it be? So blast the AC, turn on the subtitles, and move your chair so the vent is blowing right on your face, and burn a quick joss stick so celestial Buddha knows where to find you when you sneak off the ride and into the haunted forest. 

1. BAT WITHOUT WINGS 
(1980) Dir. Chu Yuan
*** 1/2 / Amazon Image - A+

Even if they have no familiarity with the wuxia genre, fans of the colorful atmosphere-drenched 60s horror of Mario Bava should seek out Bat Without Wings, for the rich color-drenched atmosphere is very similar. The story however is totally, as they say, batshit. Within vast caverns of cobwebs lie (terrible) statues made by a crackpot mad artist--a former mad rapist-murderer--who's allegedly being held on a remote island full of elaborate traps after being apprehended or supposedly killed years ago by a barrage of martial arts masters in a wild, confusing prologue. If you don't mind occasionally losing the threads of the elaborate tapestry plot as it zips around from place to place, you can just soak up the atmosphere and bizarre horror touches like the ghost of one of the Bat's victims appearing at the gate of her homestead, all bathed in green and holding her severed head in one hand and a paper lantern in the other. Weirder still: the seemingly invulnerable Bat (Feng Ku) is made up like an Asian Gene Simmons. Storming in and out of ladies' chambers with the heavy lightness of a roadshow barnstorming evil villain come for his rent, this round little maniac is an unmitigated delight.  Mwahahah. He flies around slaughtering whole parties of trained security guards just because a girl in their party looks like another girl! Chen Shan is the leader of the easily slain Hell Gang. The inescapable Derek Yee is the master swordsman is employed to find out what the hell is going on -- is the Bat really dead or what? Not to spoil things, but there's a missing 'Bat' blade that can render its user ultra-powerful. Some want it found and destroyed, others have secret agendas for power. Mwah hahha!

There's talk about the Bat being a serial rapist-murderer, but we never see him actually rape anyone, which helps. We do find his early victim sent home in parts, but the limbs look so fake you can all but see the mannequin joint lock holes. At the end there's a whole mess of Scooby Doo-style turns and tricks in a giant, beautifully-lit cavern, full of magic and the clanging of swords, all way cooler and more ridiculous than any exploitation rape/revenge story. In fact, in the right mood, in the right environment (like home in the AC during a sweltering heat wave on my Sony Bravia) it's kind of like weird film lover heaven. Just don't worry if the byzantine multi-generational, doubling plots flutter away from your mind's little net. In a Chu Yuan production you can always just trip out on the gorgeously-lit strange landscape sets, eerie caverns and ghostly figures walking slowly the distance... before their heads fall off. 

2. THE BLACK LIZARD
(1981) Dir. Chu Yuan
***/ Amazon Image - A+

Strange characters come and go in this oft confusing but beautifully-shot little mystery, topping each other's reveals with complex machinations so over-the-top the story becomes like every old dark house mystery from the 30s pureed together with Scooby Doo and Wilkie Collins frosting, all while still being packed with wuxia swordplay. Even if that sounds irritating, the green and red colors glow so valiantly in the swirling Chu Yuan mist that fans of Bava-style spooky atmosphere can't help but rejoice to see. Colored gel lights fill each corner of the frame with delightfully spooky ambience as characters prowl abandoned houses and rainy verandas filled to the brim with exotic period decor.

From what I gather of the plot, a mysterious man in a blazing, memorably intense red cloak and lizard skin face keeps carting a coffin around with a talking wooden effigy of swordsman Lung Fei's fiancee inside. Wait, didn't he just say goodbye to her in the previous scene? And why did he tell her he'd be gone for two years but then can ride back to her in the span of a single dissolve and where did he go, and why and what? There's an abandoned house next to her father's lavish mansion, where the coffin maybe went. Something evil is going on; the indefatigable Derek Yee, a sharp swordsman swept up in this multigenerational mystery, skulks and leaps through windows as the local constable. Seems there is an ancient curse on the pond/river/lake in the back yard; a black lizard demon may have sired a son to a his late wife, which led to the wife and son, who turned into a lizard, disappearing into the mist. A mysterious woman in white utters dire pronouncements, disappears and then reappears; people are wrapped up in wooden effigies of themselves, and coffins are thrown around like beach balls. 

It may not make sense even after many viewings (PS - it does after the third viewing) but who cares when, under director Chu Yuan's painterly direction, the electric emerald green filter through the fog and clash brilliantly against the deep red of the bad guy's lipstick. A giant lizard flies out of the lake; people are buried alive inside their own wooden effigies; secret panel doors come flying off; true identity shielding and byzantine inter-family paranoia flows through like a river of distilled old dark house movie square up reels. Why try to cross it when you can swim in it instead? Do like Kim Newman tells you in his Mark of the Vampire DVD commentary: soak in the ample atmosphere and savor the horror elements and don't let the Scooby Doo denouement sour the supernatural charge offered by this beautiful piece of deep colored Shaw Brothers wuxia spookiness, now all a-glow in perfect HD.

3. FULL MOON SCIMITAR
(1979) Dir. Chu Yuan 
***  / Amazon Image - A

A betrayed martial artist (Derek Yee) is about to kill himself for shame after blowing a Big Duel (his opponent's wife seduced him the night before and stole his manual) but instead falls in love with a green-lit fox spirit (in the Chu Yuan universe, the realms of the dead are always accessible through the mist and bathed in a haunting green light) named Qing Qing (Lisa Wong). They marry and he goes to live with her in 'the spectral world.' The scenes set there are so gorgeous and ethereal that you'll want to cross the veil and rent a bungalow: it seems to be always night there, with a gentle breeze, and the ornate soundstage indoor/outdoor magic of it all is supremely seductive, with plenty of cherry blossoms and lantern lit night. Who would ever want to leave?. Well, once he starts practicing with Qing Qing's magical scimitar, Ding Peng does wants to leave, at least to take his revenge. He convinces his now-wife to come with him and use her haunting skillz to arrange revenge on Ruo Song, posing as her own treacherous sister (?) and betraying Song with supernatural trickery that ensures an easy victory. But naturally old Ding isn't satisfied. He wants to keep going and be the best in the martial arts world, little knowing how much damage he's doing to his spectral home life in the pursuit of wealth and fame and just how truly treacherous Ruo Song really is. Naturally it all ends in a big grievance-airing international duel and, hopefully, a happy ending

Love that setting sun spotlight

And though that's all kind of inevitable for a Chu Yuan Shaw Brothers movie, once again it's the mist-enshrouded magical ancient landscapes, like gorgeous life-size dioramas stretching across apparently endless soundstages, that haunt the mind and make this so worth seeing. Alas, it's also quite tragic: Peng becomes a real dick to Qing Qing (he even remarries claiming he can't be with a fox forever, i.e. he's a bigamist and she's just supposed to fade away even though she's pregnant). You hope it will end happily but in a Shaw Brothers movie, it's not guaranteed, and the ending is way too abrupt. Such is the way of the Tao. It's the journey... it's the journey... it's the journey... 

A girl and her snakes

4. THE BATTLE WIZARD
(1977) Dir. Hsueh Li Pao
*** Amazon Image: A

Based on a fantasy novel by Jin Yong, this stars Dan Lee as a scholarly bibliophilic doofus who runs away from home to avoid learning kung fu. Alone, naive and even a trifle thick-headed and surly, he meets a pretty young girl named Lin (Chen Che Lin) who has sleeves full of snakes she uses as both deadly accurate weapons and couriers (she writes the characters on their underbellies). After some antagonistic bickering the pair join forces, but then promptly run afoul of 'the Poison Gang.' Volleys of poisonous vermin are thrown back and forth (she launches a venomous snake literally into him via his belly button), and then--with Lin held hostage by the gang--our doofus scholar must find her ninja sister (Ni Tien) to help defeat the Poison Gang and then --well-- if you must know, he winds up gaining super powers through drinking the blood of a giant red snake he kills while hiding out on one of those mysterious hidden cliffside oases hapless heroes often fall down into after being thrown off cliffs. 

Like so many of us bookworm introverts, our hero seems to be largely dependent on toxins for courage, but you got to respect a guy who--when a girl tells him to drink the blood of a giant red snake that's trying to constrict him to death in the middle of a pond-- he doesn't hesitate). Later, when Lin tells him to swallow a  poisonous toad-- whole!--he does! No questions asked! Dude, drinking snake blood is one thing, shooting a living toad down your throat like it it's a double shot of tequila? Bro, think of how high that must get you!

Man. this dope flick as everything: a gorilla kung fu expert kept in a pit, the titular battle wizard (friends of Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China will recognize he's got a lot of the same skills, including fire breathing), and a crazy bald green fanged monster rapist with a detachable claw arm who can outrun horses.

It's the journey... 

5. BUDDHA'S PALM
(1982) Dir Taylor Wong
***1/2 / Amazon Image - B+

With a great 80s synth score and lots of animated fire and magic effects, this is a fine companion piece to THE BATTLE WIZARD. Like that film, our callow lead, Lung (Tung Shing Yee) starts out a churlish brat, and he also winds up in a secret oasis after being tossed off a cliff, this time after a shaggy dog-style friendly dragon rescues him on his way down. There he meets the Flaming Cloud Devil (Alex Man) who wants to teach him the unbeatable Buddha's Palm. Lung doesn't want to learn it, and it's precisely why Flaming Cloud Devil insists on teaching him. Ha! Here's a film that's clearly got some Star Wars influence to it, but Lucas would never have so many strong female characters, nor an evil henchmen kid with a huge acid pus-spraying facial tumor, or a dragon that never tries to be more realistic than a floppy life-size muppet, or a villain with a super extendable giant killer foot. You heard me! It's the Heavenly Foot of the 10,000 Swords Clan! (Shih Kien!) There are villains named Flying Bells (Chen Szu-chia), Flying Loops (Yum Yum Shaw), and the Thunderbolt Devil (as he uses sound waves). Now that he knows the Palm, and has partially restored Flaming Cloud Devil's sight (via a magic dragon egg he won in a contest), Lung must help his master bring the Foots, Loops and Bolts to heel in a series of spectacular laser, sound wave, and spinning kick-filled brawls.


Special shout out to the great Lieh Lo as the mysterious, ever-clowning (but never obnoxious) friend of both Flaming Cloud Devil and the bitchy leader of the Er Mei school. He tends to arrive at just the right time (a little late), proclaiming "Bi Gu of East Island is here!" like his own PR man/herald. Like, now the party can start (I love him). As with so many of the best wuxias, there's scenes at an all-girl Er Mei school (where Lung finds a girl ally), but a standout is the sight of Heavenly Foot using his percussion set to drive his daughter crazy (turns out he controls her actions via a poisonous internal centipede). Just watching him in sped-up motion playing an array of cymbals and gongs with his foot and hands, dopey grin on his face, driving everyone insane, is a priceless privilege. He is so evil! Oh that crazy Foot! Flaming Cloud Devil ends up converting a few of the Er Mei's expelled girl students (they help Lung after he helps them steal a relic that can fix their abbot's acne). And eventually most grievances are resolved and there's a big celebration - but no worries, there's still trouble a Foot! And a giant all-out battle that dwarfs all that came before. Hahaha!
---

6. HOLY FLAME OF THE MARTIAL WORLD
(1983) Dir. Chin-Ku Lu
*** / Amazon Image - A-

American critics of HK fantasy films often note that they seem to be on fast forward when just playing normally. Here's exhibit A. Holy Flame zips along like it's running a well-practiced relay race, making us all wonder what kind of coffee they serve at the Shaw Studios. (My viewing strategy: just presume your first guess on what's going on is correct--it usually is, but if not, don't dwell on it or you'll miss three other things). The flame of the title is a weird looking weapon with a gem in the center. Naturally the hero is a young orphan whose parents died protecting the secret of the flame's hiding place from a wittily-subtitled gang of greedy kung fu clan leaders. The secret is hidden somewhere in the mind or on the skin or something of the boy, who grows up guarded by a hilarious old master named the Phantom (Phillip Kwok!). His unbeatable weapon is a devastating sonic overload, produced by 'ghost laughter.' The sight of him making weird gestures and rollicking around on his lotus position legs, roaring with delight and causing hurricane winds, is right up there with Heavenly Foot's magic percussion attacks in Buddha's Palm as far edifying. One of the nicest of all kung fu teachers in all Shaw-land, nothing fazes or annoys the Phantom. He never has a single negative thing to say, and his good-natured laughter is infectious.

Best of all, one of the main villains is a white-haired woman -Tsing Yin (Leanne Lau), the master of the Er Mei-- as seen in Heavenly Sword and Dragon Sabre, Buddha's Palm, etc. --an all-woman kung fu school whose first rule is no 'congress' with men. (Naturally that law gets broken constantly and punishment is severe).  There's a young student (Siu Chung Mok) of the other villain, golden-haired lion man Monster Yu (Jaso Pal Piao)--leading to crises of loyalty vs. righteousness, or whatever (can't stop to think). The big climactic battle is full of dizzying spins, lasers (by then the young girl rescued from the Blood Sucking Clan has acquired a magic laser-shooting finger thanks to touching a magic snake bladder.) Whoa, I barely scratched the surface laying it all out and my head is already spinning. Suffice it to say: there's nothing remotely like it in the US, except maybe the sorcerer duel in Corman's The Raven, but that was on slow motion by comparison, and this doesn't have a dated Mickey Mousing 'on the nose' score by Les Baxter--he could never keep up. 

The Shaw Brothers may not have been as ethical as some would like, but they've left us some beautiful, and truly weird things. And these eternal gems are just waiting around in the ether-web for more of the west to discover them, if they can keep up. 

see Also:
The Swirling Mists of Chor Yuen: 70s Shaw Brothers Wuxia II: SENTIMENTAL SWORDSMAN (Trilogy) HEAVEN SWORD AND DRAGON SABRE (1&2)

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Capsules of Crank: THE HORDE, RAGING PHOENIX, PIG HUNT, DARK ANGEL: THE ASCENT


DARK ANGEL: THE ASCENT
(1994) ****

Directed by a woman (Linda Hassani) who is seemingly from another planet, DARK ANGEL (no relation to the TV series starring Jessica Alba) has a bit of a space cadet glow, kind of like MY SO-CALLED LIFE if Angela Chase was a demoness looking to find herself in the world above her Hell home, etc. Charles Band's Full Moon company utilized beautiful Romanian architecture and painterly craftsman lighting to overcome the relative lack of CGI or budget, towards turning this into a sweet 'so wrong it's right' dusty-dream theater fairy tale ala LEMORA: A CHILD'S TALE OF THE SUPERNATURAL or VALERIE AND HER WEEK OF WONDERS. Veronica (Angela Featherstone) feels called to the surface, strictly forbidden the demon set by their Angel employers. Dad's so upset he's motivated to shout in her face in spittle-flecked hysteria of the sort only Nicolas Worth (so chilling as the psycho in DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE) can provide, flogging and striking her, and generally driving her from his door. She escapes with her dog Hellraiser and together they wind up cleaning up an surface city. Romancing a young handsome doctor and wandering around the crime-ridden park at night, ripping spinal columns out of rapists and racist cops and feeding their impure hearts to her dog, Hellraiser. Soon she hooks up with an ER doctor whose karmic balance is strong clearly due to all his selfless healing work, and who's hot and has a nice studio loft apartment for her to move right in.

"To turn away from evil is to be an accomplice to evil"
Through Veronica's actions we learn that demons aren't evil so much as determined to cause suffering and death to those who do evil, and that when acting is really really bad it becomes almost like innocence. Angela Featherstone's zombie acting style gives her crazy lines--part alien free of all humanity's typical shame and fear as she seeks to get the whole picture of life above--and part biblical vengeance--a deadpan flatline sincerity a better actor couldn't hope to match. Her bravely imperious tone when being questioned by suspicious cops is out-of-step even for 90% of other Satanic representatives in film. The way she delivers lines like "I don't require the blessings of the church to engage in unsanctioned sexual relations, Max" is so good I wish I had it as a ringtone. Even the sex scene is tasteful, and I love when she unfolds her true form--wings, horn, tail--after orgasm, in bed, and he's surprised but doesn't freak out, he's just like "hey, it's all right," in a normal late night bedroom voice. He's cool with it! It's all played dead straight, which is why it works so damn well, like Jacques Tourneur making films for a a Satanic Sunday school.



It might not be for all tastes, but in addition to Featherstone's wondrously low-key performance, I love the dreamlike grungy fairytale threadbare Guy Maddin meets Silk Stalkings ambiance (Hassani's directed a few episodes of the latter). It's the perfect film to pass out to by the tenth whiskey of the night. And if you're one of those sober Bickle-ish horror fans who has to really search his collection to find a suitable date movie, here it is. Once you see Veronica offer the would-be rapists spinal column to his intended victim as a trophy, you know there really is a God... and God is good.
--
Though if he really loved us, there would have been eight sequels, or even one.
PS  6/16 - see my updated close-up on this swell film here

 RAGING PHOENIX
(2009) ***1/2

Jija Yanin (CHOCOLATE) is a miracle, a wiry, scrappy little kicking so much ass she should charge by the truckload miracle, especially when she learns a hilarious mix of drunken monkey-style and break dancing. She's an avenging angel against kidnapper gangs, but rather than dipping into the usual sleaze and dispiriting inhumanity at the core of the Thai white slave trade, RAGING PHOENIX involves kidnapping women for their precious pheromones, which are mined via their precious tears in a bizarre underground nightmare lab/dungeon, eerily reminiscent of the tunnels talked about in reptilian conspiracy circles, replete with humans being hypnotized and farmed for emotional response-generated fluids --though melancholy reverie here rather than pain and fear; it's all masterminded by a transgendered martial arts master in a red kimono who does not go down easy.


Unlike the basic stuff from Hong Kong, these Thai guys never use guns, or weapons of any kind... just martial arts, not even bo staves, shuriken, or nunchaku. What kind of gang is that? How can you ever expect to compete with the Yakuza, the Tong, or the Golden Hand? I would have liked to see the booze show up at the last minute like Popeye's spinach, to go with the drunken monkey style, but instead there's some last minute emoting, as the guy our Phoenix loves, well blah blah - you know how those Asian countries are when it comes to sweeping soapy doomed young love, but they do some great couple martial arts in between all, he throwing her all over the place an a big elaborate set piece on a stacked series of rope bridge crossings over a vast deep pit is pretty wild, with more of that swanky high-def deep black-saturated color whiplash camera (so freely used in THE HORDE, our next film)  circling and sliding and whirling around our various heroes. And the martial arts--from choreography to camera to high-kicks--are wondrous.In the end, though, where are you, whiskey? I went to do the dishes afterwards and smashed a plate I was so pissed off they forgot about booze, their secret weapon - you can't have drunk monkey style without it, I don't care what your sen-sen says. ! As the subtitles say: "I want Vengence!" (sic)


 THE HORDE
(2009) **1/2

Borrowing liberally across a long line of John Carpenter, George Romero and 28 DAYS, this French allegory is shot in that whiplash urban chic way that's become synonymous with modern horror films. Dudes, are running zombies all the rage now? In the original DAWN OF THE DEAD for example, the slow comical zombie moments allowed the human survivors time to reflect, reload and recognize themselves in the zombie's eyes, and it was more like our actual nightmares, wherein we're always running in mud or trapped as something shambles or crawls inexorably towards us. Then there's the whole RESIDENT EVIL virus that's infected so many zombie movies with 'money shot' climactic moments of one lone human discharging his/her armaments in full slow mo Matrix camera abandon and the shells come popping out of each machine pistol as they flash at acres of zombies pressing forward like literally rabid fans at a rock concert (see my Hell's Angels Vs. The Flower Child Dead).

But as for humans, you can do worse than the old Carpenter's saw of cops and robbers teaming up to fight the common foe. Eric Ebouaney is awesome (he's the guy slapping Rebecca Romjin in FEMME FATALE), playing a crazy Nigerian ex-child soldier turned drug dealer, with--exactly like Ice Cube's situation in the eerily similar GHOSTS OF MARS--a hothead brother who doesn't trust their new white cop allies. I like that they all get jacked up on cocaine--cop and crook alike-- before rushing out to battle, and a female zombie pinned to the floor provides weird cokehead gang rape frisson without having to get icky and dehumanizing and depressing like DEADGIRL (here just implication is enough), and when an old neighbor 'Indochine' veteran gets involved, and thinks the zombies are a "chink" counter-attack, you have the deadpan allegory of Romero, if not the shambling.

PIG HUNT
(2008) **1/4

There's just a few problems here, one is making the sanctimonious pretty boy murph dillweed good guy the hero -John (Travis Aaron Wade) --and having his self-important dillweed girlfriend (Tina Huang) invite herself along on an all-guys Northern California camping trip / boar hunt just so she can make wise-ass cracks about their phallic gunsmanship --just what every boys' night out needs, a girl inviting herself along to heckle and emasculate them. Why even bother? If  a guy can't kick his girlfriend out of the car he doesn't deserve to come!.

 Ben (Howard Johnson Jr), Quincy(Trevor Bullock), and Wayne(Rajiv Shah) are the other friends, killed more or less in accordance with their stereotypes (Asian guy first, fat guy second, etc.). But hey, this film isn't about breaking new ground, its about giant man eating pigs protecting pot fields.


There's odd inconsistencies I shan't spoil, but there's also moments of genuine schlock anarchy: a coven of dope-growing hippie girls who preach back-to-nature while sporting silicone breast enhancements; in-joke homage and quotations (as in the fat guy quoting APOCALYPSE NOW); some good looking buds on the fields (John wants to call the police about the crop, which made me see red... hairs that is - a fucking narc tattletale like that deserves death); a rocking theme song from the reliably deranged Les Claypool (he shows up onscreen as a preacher who dies in a ROAD WARRIOR-homage) and a great antihero duo in the form of DELIVARENTS-ish local boys played supremely well by Jason Foster and Nick Tagas. Spiking their coffee, and ripping crank off their hunting knives, they show the right way to psych yourself up for killin'! I was rooting for them the whole time! Root, Hogs! Gut yourself some narc!

When the situation gets explosive and the DELIVERANCE boys rally the locals against these clean-shaven intruders, there's some riveting driving around and waving guns, and the emotional anguish and subsequent carnage is awesomely bodacious. However the monster finale is disappointing. For one thing, it seems oddly blocked, with a set-up that we don't know where anyone is in relation to each other half the time when they're all in the same outdoor pit. Why is everyone standing around watching this pig, with special fx snot hanging out of its nose, rooting around for victims? Wouldn't they want to hide... or something? It's kind of a let-down. But hey, four beers in, you won't give a sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeYIT
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