Thursday, August 14, 2008
Are you ready for the cryptozoological end of days?
Chubacabras, Mountauk Monsters, Bigfoots (Bigfeets?), Loch Ness monstros, Aliens, they're all coming out of the woodwork for the end of days, a scant four years from now. We've lived the last 100 or so years in a trance of technological smugness, as if nothing could survive outside our limited positivist radar... and now look who's laughing! Mother nature is showing us all her weird and mutated cards, unveiling the mysteries that have kept us afraid of the dark for generations! She's dumping the whole mystery bag out on the table for anyone to see.
The recent discovery of a Bigfoot carcass has the web in such an uproar that it immediately crashed the site of the researchers who have apparently put a lock on the corpse until they can release DNA evidence, or something.... supposedly they'll release photos and evidence in a press conference tomorrow, or will it be a big hoax? And even if it's a hoax, isn't it still true?
I trace it all to the old Blair Witch Project web site and the blurring of truth and fiction - if you stage fiction enough like truth, it's not only fun, but it effects the actual reality in which you live. Call me crazy? Just listen...
In 2006, Werner Herzog went to Loch Ness in Scotland to make a documentary, the trip was a disaster that left two people dead... or did it?
The sheer deadpan crotchetiness with which Herzog plays himself in the film disputes any argument. The mounting terror, the randomness of sightings, the hot babe in the bikini... This documentary is real...regardless of the facts! As Herzog himself puts it in the film, "There is a difference between the facts and the truth." Watching INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS with the lights off in that suspension of disbelief mode--by which ghost stories are made scary in the campfire light--is to be alive with the thrill of Krypto! Zoology!
Expect this all to get a lot weirder, and Acidemic will be there, for as the late Hunter S. Thompson once said: "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." The mass appearance of strange animals turning up dead or soggy and even allowing themselves to be photographed, and the blurring of the line between mocku and docu, truth and fiction, reality TV and the whining of jackasses... it all fits the pattern of Armageddons past! Ladies and gentlemen, select your desert island DVDs and begin building your arks! Awooo! Fake Bigfoot in a block of Ice cometh, man!