Because the screen is the only well-lit mirror in town

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Bigfoot O My Bigfoot

You will always be bigfoot to me, dear bigfoot.

Today the most compelling piece of Bigfoot evidence in the history of weird science, was revealedto be a hoax, and yesterday the boys with the bigfoot costume stunned the world by issuing a hoax DNA test result video. What?

You can't fool me, Virginia, Bigfoot is alive in all our hearts. Someone (or someones) took the time to make those footprints...

Who hypnotized these people to waste precious time to do such a thing if not shadowy government agents and/or bigfoot aliens?I wouldn't put it past the government to be the Moriarty behind all this bigfoot hoaxery, creating fakes and then exposing them deliberately as a means of discrediting Edgar Mitchell in a "guilt by paranormal association" sort of thing. As disinformtaion tactics go, it's the funnest.

When I was a little boy my friend Liesel and I would spend our recesses digging for "The Green Hand." We were sure it was buried in the schoolyard dirt. The point to this thrilling tale is that we both "knew" there was no real green hand. But we pretended there was, and the digging was fun. We'd discuss what we'd do if we found the hand. The hand was dangerous and had to be monitored closely, but would be a good ally in our future schemes, such as the blowing up of the school. It was the glue of our little presexual pair bond, if you will.

After awhile we got a little bored with never finding anything and Lisel brought a green magic marker and some paper to our dig site. Once the hand was actually created, the fun vanished. We drifted apart...

My point is, let's not us drift apart. Let's see the green hand and the bigfoot as what they really are, the soft underbelly of human intersubjective releationships. These bigfoot guys are like ace carny pitchmen of old! Call me old fashioned, but large scale hucksterism like this is much more fun and serves a better public interest than Christo and Jean-Claude's "The Gates" project. In my mind this all seems like Fellini shooting a remake of ACE IN THE HOLE. and it just makes Warner Herzog seem like more and more of a genius (for his INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS, which I talk about in Friday's post).

I have my own fake supernatural documentary too, from 2006, called QUEEN OF DISKS. If you go to watch it (if you dare!) Please see all 4-parts, the whole thing for maximum weirdness, and touchingness... though its deliberately Brechtian and not in Herzog's league... he said humbly. Don't judge and condemn based on the first few minutes of part one! It gets really weird and you will never predict what happens, this I can practi-fuckin-guarantee.


  1. i'm still trying to figure out if "Sasquatch" is Bigfoot's name, or if that's the name of his species


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